Comments on: 7 Quick Takes Friday: The Overparenting Edition

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 02:21:36 +0000

Yes, I think you’re right–the point about fewer kids has been made before and makes sense on a number of fronts. ONe of them is that the kids look out for each other, so the more of them there are, the better looked-after they are by their peers, and the more parents can let them go.

By: RAnn

RAnn — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:49:09 +0000

I’m one who hates our current model of what I consider over-parenting; yet it is so hard to buck the tide. My daughter walks from the bus stop 1/2 mile on the other side of our subdivision home from school every day. A couple of other kids walk most of the way with her, but the last few blocks are on her own. My autistic son walks 1.5 miles home from school daily. In both cases I know people who have raised eyebrows when they learned that my kids did this, but they are in middle and high school–they should be able to go short distances on their own.

I think part of the reason we parent like that is because we can. We have only a couple of kids, we have multiple family cars, we have money for paid activities and supervision. We also do not have neighborhoods full of kids. Our kids grades and assignments are posted on-line so parents are as responsible for the grades as the kids are.

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 12:37:57 +0000

I love how much interest this has sparked! I know I linked about a hundred different things in there, but Skenazy’s blog link is one you should look at, if you haven’t had the chance. You’ve got to laugh at some of the things she uncovers.

Skenazy is reacting to a cultural model, and reactions, by nature, tend to be extreme. How many of us have *reacted* to something and then had to admit later that we went too far–ignoring whatever portion of the provocation was grounded in reality? I think reality lies somewhere in between (in the middle? Gasp!) We all would like to believe we can react without swinging too far in the other direction, but finding the balance is really the key. Elizabeth, I will indulge you and post more on this on Monday.

By: taratru

taratru — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 03:47:58 +0000

Because I’m a teacher, I wanted to personally thank every person in that article…can you thank Teresa for me? It is SO time for children to start learning from mistakes, not from their parents fixing everything FOR them.

By: Michelle aka Catholic Lady

Michelle aka Catholic Lady — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 22:54:20 +0000

Love your takes!

My 6-year-old is in Kindergarten. She takes a thermos with her milk every day (school charges 50 cents for a carton of milk!!!!!) Anyway, the first day she forgot it, my husband ran back to school to get it to her. The second time she forgot it, he did that again. AFter the second time, I told him…”STOP!!!!! She will never learn to remember it on her own if you keep doing that.” So the third time she forgot it, he simply told the teacher, “Please have Dani drink water at lunch.”

She hasn’t forgotten her thermos again. Granted…that’s not a whole lunch…but I would say a kindergartener can learn.

By: Kim

Kim — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 16:19:04 +0000

I read the Free Range Parenting book as well as this article and one thing that I think is important is that abductions have not increased since the 50s when we let kids run wild. It’s just that the news is on 24 hour constant cycle now so everything is national news. Before, just the local areas would hear about abductions which made them futher between/completely absent. Also, it’s always far more likely for your child to be abducted by someone they know then a stranger.

My mom was great with letting me be independent (teaching me how to take the bus, having me do chores, letting me learn from my own mistakes in school) and because of that I fared a lot better post 18 then my peers did. With half of them, I had to teach them how to do laundry and how to take the bus/read bus schedules in the dorms which is ridiculous. I know their parents thought they were doing the right thing but really in the end it just makes it harder for their kids to survive.

Also, I know one person who’s parents always did her homework through high school because they were so terrified that she wouldn’t be perfect if she did it on her own… and I’ll give you one guess what happened in college.

By: thatmarriedcouple

thatmarriedcouple — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:54:51 +0000

7. Oh, awesome! Also, I’m originally a Missouri girl, so I always love it when I find other bloggers who are, too!

And I’d be interested in reading your own thoughts about “overparenting!”

By: Lisa

Lisa — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:04:33 +0000

I read her book Free Range Parenting and thought it was very thought provoking. I didn’t agree with everything she said in her book, but it did make me think how I may be overprotective and controlling.