7 Quick Takes, vol. 78

1. I have just finished reading “Chosen: The Lost Diaries of Queen Esther” this week. It started out somewhat questionable, to be honest. The first few “entries” weren’t written very well. I thought I was headed down the poorly-written Christian literature route, but I gave it a few more pages since the opening entries were written by a “teenager.”

2. However, it wasn’t long before I was hooked. I don’t know this author’s background, but the story of Esther was a perfect conduit for addressing matters of faith and sexuality, and I want to share a quote that shocked me, because I have NEVER seen such a perspective written outside of NFP circles. Here it is:

“I am a woman, created in the image of the one true G-d. I will lay His glory at the feet of no man, and for no fleeting pleasure. To touch me is to touch the eternal.”  (Emphasis added.)

3. Another great quote, on matters more general: “In some people, love of G-d leaves little love for others, especially those who stumble and sin often.”

4. I didn’t go into it expecting more than a quick read, but now I’ll be looking for more works by Ginger Garrett.

5. While we’re on the subject of women’s issues, I thought this was a great post, entitled “Satan’s Best Trick.”

6. I have a cold. Which is no surprise, I suppose, considering that my children have been trading the bug for two weeks, and I’ve been fighting it off for almost a week myself. Still…blech!

7. And finally, I have questions for those who have their own blogs (and keep an eye on traffic). Do you find that there has been a dropoff in traffic lately? Or is it just me? I’m theorizing that the weather’s so pretty in so much of the country that people aren’t spending as much computer time. Which is not a bad thing. Time will tell if I’m right.

Published in: on April 30, 2010 at 5:25 am  Comments (2)  
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Breaking the Addiction, Day 7

When various blog-friends began talking about an internet fast for Lent, my first reaction was, Whoa! That is a *great* Lenten penance! In every word they wrote, I recognized myself, but I felt sure that I couldn’t do it myself. After all, the reason I began blogging was to develop a “platform” (if you’re not a writer and don’t know what I’m talking about, spare yourself the pain), and although the purpose has evolved, platform-building remains important. I can’t just take a break from blogging for “forty” days. Besides, I have assignments and deadlines—articles, and a second book of flute pieces to finish and send, not to mention the neglected novel that I am determined to submit this year. I have to use the web.

If that sounds like a string of excuses, it’s because it is.

In the end, I settled for a compromise. I decided to fast from checking blog stats. I knew how hard it would be, even though it sounds so trivial. But I wasn’t counting on the persistence of temptation!

I begin the day by posting, which is accessed through the dashboard, upon which the basic hits counter resides. I thought, at first, that I might be able to sneak an “accidental” peek in the morning while opening up my blog. (So much for good intentions.) But it is just below the level of the opening screen. Any peek would require a deliberate breaking of the fast on my part.

The full “stats” page is an easy click, a bright blue link, cheerily taunting me from the left navigation bar. On the blog proper, the total hits counter beckons. All I would have to do is glance at the number and do a little math, and I’d know my daily hits.

I resist, but oh, it’s hard. My whole consciousness strains toward the vain affirmation of those little numbers. Numbers that, in the grand scheme of things, are so very unimportant. How did I get so attached to them? Is this withdrawal?

As Michelle at Graceful points out, it’s amazing how much time is freed up. I am doing more dishes, more straightening, more playing with the kids, and getting more writing done. I’m not sure that’s really the point; I have this feeling that I should be spending that “free” time in prayer and reflection. In fact, I’m almost sure of it. But unlike Advent, I don’t have a plan for Lent yet, to help me achieve my spiritual goals—only an idealized vision. It’s a vision that’s based on my own experiences, but the years in which I really embraced the great, holy emptiness of Lent most powerfully were the years I spent in Iowa, far from home, without transportation on a suitcase campus, where life was focused pretty much entirely on me. Obviously, that’s not the case anymore. I have to grow into a new way to experience the emptiness. And it may not be realistic for years to come. I mean, silence and stillness are just not things that mesh well with parenthood.

Yet somehow, I have to find them. I need to walk through that desert. I wonder, is this fast of mine actually accomplishing anything useful in terms of closeness with God?

Maybe I’m too close to it to know, right now. Maybe the answer to that question will be revealed in time. And maybe I’m just floundering. But I guess that even a failed attempt is a step along the path.

Published in: on February 23, 2010 at 8:02 am  Comments (5)  
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Kate’s Rules of Blogging for New Writers

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1. It’s OK to spend the time blogging, even if you aren’t sure how many people are reading. Blogging replaces my personal journal. It teaches focus, titling, brevity and hooks. How can you argue with something that helps you record your life and thoughts at the same time that you practice writing?

2. But beware wasting time.

3. Be concise. With so many blogs out there, you have a lot of competition. Besides, you owe it to your readership not to waste their time wandering. Get to the point and get done.

4. Make it meaningful. I’m always astonished by how much fluff is out there—and by how many hits it gets—but for me, substance is key.

5. Make it count. Carnivals/memes are great for networking and exposure, but don’t waste your time and your readers’ by simply joining them without something substantive to offer your faithful readers. Find a way to make those entries serve two purposes. For example, this week I wrote my Tuesday post to combine a photo carnival and two “wordful” ones. I came up with this rule when I realized I was joining four or five carnivals a week, and I was writing to the carnivals instead of saying what was given to me to say.

That said, this post probably does not serve most of my faithful readers, for which I apologize. I promise something more substantive tomorrow. After all, yesterday was Julianna’s first day of school. What more poignant motherhood moment is there than that?

Published in: on February 3, 2010 at 6:03 am  Comments (6)  
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Just to make it easier for you to spend time with me…

…I have added “email subscription” to this blog. If you want to be the first to know when I add something breathtakingly witty or pognant ;) on this blog, enter your email address or click “sign me up” if you’re a Word Press user, and off you will go. Of course, this means that I rearranged the order of the side bar, so if you had something particular you were using over there, you’ll have to look for its new home. But for the non-techhies out there like me, I thought email subscription would be an easier way to keep up with things. Hope you enjoy!

Published in: on November 30, 2009 at 10:44 am  Leave a Comment  

Just for fun…

Check out Niki’s blog today. You won’t believe it till you see it. :)

Published in: on April 24, 2009 at 2:07 pm  Leave a Comment  

Negative Feedback

I guess I should take it as a positive, that someone decided to leave a negative comment. :/ After all, that means that I evoked a response, that someone visited and read who thinks differently from me–and feels strongly enough about it that they were willing to call me on it.

I shouldn’t let it bother me, but it does. This is only the second negative comment I’ve gotten on my blog. The first was in response to a post about a book on the FLDS. The people who commented on that one actually scared me.

If I came across self-righteous in the last post to anyone else out there, please accept my apologies. I’m afraid that’s one of my weaknesses. I strive for humility, but obviously I don’t always achieve it.

Published in: on March 9, 2009 at 12:06 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Random Tidbits

I’m up early this morning and don’t have my writing materials, so I’ll just take this opportunity to record a few little random tidbits of life, which are more for the benefit of family records/history than what I usually post.

Random tidbit #1: Julianna
We receive our services through Missouri First Steps, which is a tremendous program, covering everything she needs until age 3. The therapists tell me that once she graduates from First  Steps, there will be many more battles to fight. (Yay.)

Anyway, at present the therapists come to our house: Physical, Occupational, and Speech. Gerti, our PT, still gets 2 visits a week, but as soon as Julianna really gets walking we’ll be cutting back to one and passing the other to the other therapists, who get 6 visits per month. I detail this to explain that we have 5-6 visits per week…except this week, because Gerti is out of the country, and other scheduling factors combined so that we had only TWO therapies this week. We did not know what to do with ourselves. Particularly Julianna, who simply has gone on strike this week. She won’t walk–whenever you try to set her on her feet, she picks her legs up and howls. She won’t drink from a glass–preferring to go without liquid altogether. I’m shaking my head and saying, Kiddo, regression’s supposed to happen AFTER the baby comes!

However, on the up side, she had a great week for signing. She learned 5 new signs: Daddy, Mommy, hat, fish, play. And she pointed to “cat” when Chris, the speech therapist, asked her to choose between two pictures. So both of those are good things.

Random Tidbit #2: Alex

Alex is definitely transitioning out of nap time. The trouble is that he still really needs it, even if he can’t or won’t go to sleep. So by evening, there are purple marks under his eyes and he’s acting…well, not good. The other thing this affects is bedwetting. He’s always been a sound sleeper–once he fell out of bed without waking up! This is why, we think, he is still wetting at night instead of getting up to go to the bathroom. I’ve let it go for months now without trying to work on it, but it’s very frustrating. It seems like all his friends are dry at night, and he’s not only wet, he’s as drenched as any baby.

Random Tidbit #3: Alex

On a more positive note, a couple of language funnies. He’s always said “pwanio” instead of “piano.” Christian & I think it’s adorable, but about a week ago, I thought, oh, my goodness, this child is nearly 4 years old. If I let this go much longer he’s going to get into the habit, and imagine the musicians’ kid at age 7 having to learn to say “piano” properly! So I brought him over and taught him to say it properly. Christian was really mad at me. :)

However, he still says “amn’t.” He’s got the gist of language so well that he created for himself the one contraction that we DON’T use. You’re really tired, Alex–it’s time for bed. “No, I amn’t!” Adorable.

OK, so honesty compels me to admit that even though he made up an appropriate contraction, he doesn’t have his past tense straight yet.

Random Tidbit #4: Baby

Baby is manifesting his or her personality by waking up every time I sit down or lie down, and using me as a boxing target…and a tickle target. Its favorite time is when I first lie down at night. I get a good 15 minutes of crazy movements. The kind where an entire leg from the knee down pushes out of my flank, and I can run my fingers along both sides. The kind where both sides of my body bulge at the same time. The kind where my stomach jumps and rolls like something out of an Alien movie. And s/he LOVES to take those little toes and tickle the underside of my ribcage. I must say, it’s most unfair, because I have very little defense against internal tickling! But maybe it’s a payback-in-advance  for all the tickling this little one will have to endure from Mommy in the years to come. :)

Random Tidbit #5: Writing

I set a goal to have my novel complete & submission-ready before Baby. I think that ship has sailed, much as I hate to capitulate. I’m very close, but my focus has gone in other directions lately…an assignment for Family Foundations (thank you, Christina!), and some composing, which I always miss when I go into a musical dry spell. And let’s be honest…a lot of blogging. Balance, Kate, balance.

So we’ll see what happens when I finish my assignment, which I should be able to turn in well ahead of deadline. Who knows? Maybe the last fixes and polishes on the novel won’t take too long. Maybe I’ll still make it! Think positive!

Published in: on February 28, 2009 at 6:28 am  Leave a Comment  

Reflections from a Jack-of-all Trades

Do you ever wonder how different your life might have turned out if you had made one decision differently? I do.

 

I chose my college based on what was familiar, what was near to home…what was safe. My music teachers often warned me what pursuing a performance career meant: a total commitment to putting that ahead of everything else. I heard it so often that I got irritated with them.

 

But I wonder now if they were so persistent because they knew I didn’t have what it took to succeed—the guts and determination to barrel through all obstacles like a car in a Hollywood chase scene, heedless of the destruction you leave behind. Long ago I came to the conviction that if great art requires sacrificing personal happiness and peace, I don’t want it. God didn’t create us to be tortured geniuses; he created us to be happy.

 

Classical music, liturgical music, composition, fiction, nonfiction…these are the talents, and the interests, God has given me. When I was younger, and unattached, I could focus on each creative pursuit in its own time. But getting married meant that all other priorities got pushed to second place. (That, unfortunately, took me a little while to learn.) When Alex came along, everything had to slip back another notch, and with the arrival of Julianna, with her special needs, everything dropped back a couple more notches.

 

Or did it? I’m writing very consistently now, but I hardly ever practice my flute; I’m writing virtually no music, and I often squirm with guilt that on a day to day basis I’m diluting the attention I give my children, who should be my top priority, after my husband.

 

And they are. When I have to, I drop everything else to cuddle a child with the stomach flu or a boo boo. And certainly writing time is planned around their schedules. But any time they’re awake and I’m sitting at the computer, I feel torn, guilty—just as I do about the lack of composing, the lack of flute practicing. There are too many balls to juggle. At any given time, a couple of them simply have to rest on the floor and wait their turn.

 

Do I regret not choosing one area of interest, grabbing hold and not letting go? No, I can’t regret that. I have a beautiful, exciting life, filled with cuddles and discipline, inspiration and deadlines, field trips and therapies. And I have a husband who is the best partner a woman could dream of. My life is balanced. If I’d had the backbone to make it in the performing world, I would have had to sacrifice other things. That may not be PC, but the world is what it is. I can’t help thinking that the sheer singlemindeness it takes to succeed is why so many famous people go through three, four or more marriages. Their career demands so much; it doesn’t leave enough to make a personal life work the way it’s supposed to.

 

So I will continue to juggle my “joyful duties” (I love that line from the hymn “O God Beyond All Praising”—such a succinct, and true, phrase) with the passions that define me. My family, my marriage, my responsibilities, will continue to inspire my writing, creating the intersection for which this blog is named. No, I will never balance it perfectly—considering this is the third or fourth post I’ve written on the subject, I’ll probably continue to expend emotional energy trying to keep all the balls whirling in harmony. But I do believe that this is the life I was called to live. And I thank God for it every day.

 

***

 

Something happened this week, and my blog hits went through the roof. I’ve scoured the stats, and for the life of me I can’t figure out what I did to cause it. Which makes me think I didn’t…I just got lucky. So, to all of you who follow this blog, I want to say thank you. It means a lot to me to have the opportunity to touch lives through what I write. That is what all writers ultimately want to do, the reason we spend such ridiculous amounts of time arranging and rearranging words on a page—so that the thoughts given to us can, perhaps, make a difference in someone else’s life. I’m honored that you take the time to come here and read.

Published in: on February 20, 2009 at 6:47 am  Comments (6)  

New blog to check out

Through my obsessive compulsion to read through my blog stats, I discovered that someone visited me from http://bugbear.wordpress.com/. Naturally, I had to go check it out. I’m glad I did. You should, too.

Published in: on February 18, 2009 at 12:37 pm  Comments (2)  

Of Statistics and Search parameters

One of the things that happens when you start a blog is that you get obsessive about watching your blog stats. And whatever other information the counter gives you. For instance, I can see when people click to my blog from somewhere else, and I know which posts get the most “hits.” I also know what the “top searches” are.

This is very interesting, actually. Right now, the top search includes the phrase “mild Down syndrome” and “day to day life of child with downs syndrome.” I always enjoy it when I see “The Beggars’ Queen” come up as a search parameter, of course.

The strangest search parameter that ever hooked itself on my blog was…are you ready? “Old lady bras.”

Now, stick that phrase in the search function on the side of the blog, and see what comes up. Talk about one tiny phrase that has nothing to do with the main subject of the post!

Well, anyway.

It’s getting late (which means 7:20p.m.), but I’ve been wanting to share that gem for quite a while. As long as I’m writing about basically nothing, I will share another, a Julianna story. She’s making another forward lunge in cognitive development, as I indicated a few days ago. The latest manifestation of her growth is that she understands several of the most common parental admonitions she hears. For instance:  yesterday I passed by her room at naptime and saw her climbing the bars of the crib into standing. “Julianna, lie down now!” I snapped–as sharply as I could manage. And I’ll be darned, that girl plopped face first in her blankets and played “dead.” Or, at least, asleep. No, Mommy, you were seeing things. I wasn’t getting ready to stand up. Uh-uh, not me. I’m an angel! I’m still cracking up about it.

There’s a good Alex story, too. I’m seeing a PT myself now–the 3rd pregnancy hip thing is killing me–and at our second appointment I brought the kids. She started asking me questions like, “So….you have a brother in law who’s a PT? Did he go to SLU? What was his name?” Soon we had established that she and my brother-in-law and his wife all went to school together. She nodded with satisfaction. “Well, the name was pretty uncommon, but when he walked in”–she gestured at Alex–”I figured it had to be. He looks so much like Justin!”

Never gotten THAT one before!

Now I suppose it’s time to go upstairs and get the kids ready for bed.

Published in: on January 13, 2009 at 7:29 pm  Comments (2)  
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