Two days ago, Alex, fearless explorer, discovered tigers in his bedroom. And although tigers are funny, fascinating creatures during the day, at night they are terrifying—or at least, an excuse to stay up later. Consequently, we have added a new dimension to the bedtime routine. I have taken to opening drawers and doors, lassoing tigers and shooing them out the door and back to Africa, where they belong.
My children put their heads together sometime about 10 days ago and concocted an evil plan to shred Mommy’s nerves. The conversation went something like this:
Alex: “OK, Juweenanna, I’ll get scared of tigers and make Mommy sleep with me. Then you wake up 4 times a night for no reason at all, okay?”
Julianna: “Eehheeeeeheee! AAAAAAAAA!”
Alex: “Great. Then I’ll wet the bed every night, so Mommy and Daddy go crazy wondering why I’m not toilet trained anymore. And when it’s Daddy’s night to get up with us, you sleep straight through. You only get up on MOMMY’S nights. Understand?”
Julianna: “EEAAAAAAAaaaaAAAAaaaaAAAAaaa!” (I know she bounced while she said it.)
Thus are the most insidious conspiracies born.
I can laugh about this today because last night, they actually both slept through the night—and so did I. For the first time in two weeks.