Lately, Alex reminds me of a Garfield cartoon from my childhood. Odie and Garfield are in a canoe, rowing in opposite directions. Odie has a thunderstorm, Garfield has the sun. He says, “I’m easy to get along with when everything goes my way.”
It’s been a very over-stimulating ten days. Grandma and Grandpa Basi spent all of last weekend with us. On the heels of that was the STOMP concert, followed by a day in St. Louis, and then another overnight trip to St. Louis over the weekend. Ten days long on excitement, short on sleep.
We’re trying to be philosophical, but we’re just about at our wits’ end. Alex is sliding into a neo-toddler stage of tantrums and whining, of “no!” and toileting accidents, which is absolutely the last straw.
And Julianna, meanwhile, stubbornly refuses to walk, spoon feed, etc. Even getting her to sign is often a battle of wills.
This is the state of things in the Basi household, at T-minus 17 days to Baby’s arrival: me pulling my hair and saying, “Guys! Regression’s not supposed to happen till AFTER the baby comes!”
It was Wednesday, while I was holding my new niece, and she was crying inconsolably, when it really hit me. Whoa! This is my life in three weeks!
Then I started freaking out about the 6 weeks post-op, when I am on medical restrictions. For instance: on Mondays and Tuesdays I have to put the kids to bed without help, because Christian teaches lessons…and bedtime is a very physical time of day. Then there’s bath time. I can’t possibly lift Julianna into the tub at Surgery Plus 4 days—or 11, for that matter. And what about Alex? Lately he’s taken to flailing his limbs when he doesn’t want to do what I say. I’m already guarding my midsection from his kicks. Frequently the only solution is to wrap him up and hold him—gently, but firmly—until he calms down enough to respond to communication. Impossible, post C-section.
It’s a bit late to be worrying about this now, of course. Ready or not, Baby’s coming. I guess it’s something like getting cold feet right before a wedding.
I knew the first six months were going to be hard. You may ask why we’re having our kids so close together. Well, we had three years of infertility before Alex, so as soon as fertility returned postpartum, we started trying to conceive again. Julianna took 4 months—a big improvement. When she was born, we had to change our thinking. We knew she’d be significantly delayed, and we wanted her to be a little farther along before we had the third baby. So we postponed “TTC” for half a year past the return of fertility.
The only unexpected part about the third pregnancy was achieving it on the first try. As my Aunt Agnes says, “God opens and closes the womb.”
I know we’ll get through the transition, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling overwhelmed and freaked out at the moment. All I can do is hope—cling to the hope—that we’re going through a few days of detox after two crazy weeks, and that in the next 18 days, some of the Alex/Julianna issues will calm down. But Christian and I are both feeling angry and frustrated, and as we know, our attitude makes a huge difference. I keep trying to figure out how I can change my attitude. The only thing I can think is that maybe I haven’t spent enough time focusing on the kids lately, and maybe that would help. I’ll be trying that this week.
In the meantime, any more experienced parents out there….words of wisdom, please????????? I’m sure others would appreciate them, too!