The connection between us stretches back to the moment you finished your journey through a dark tunnel and tucked yourself into a corner of my womb. Before I knew you existed—so tiny that you were scarcely there—you were already attached to me…a physical bond whose days were numbered, prefiguring an emotional bond that will live beyond the grave.
My body nourished yours. The noise of my blood pumping was the first sound you heard; my heartbeat was your first lesson in rhythm. It lulled you to sleep, accompanied you as you danced within me…a sensation both wonderful and at times uncomfortable.
The trauma of birth severed that physical connection. Other, more distant, bonds replaced it. Smell. Taste. Sight. Touch. And yet we cling to the memory of a time when I was your whole universe. We lie together, heart to heart, and the twin beating calms us. At three months, the pulse of my body still lulls you to sleep.
I don’t know how long it will last. Physical bonds become less potent the older we grow. But here in this moment, my beautiful boy, life is perfect.
You have such a way with words and such a lovely, fresh perspective. For instance, I never thought about that before, that your heart’s beat was his first lesson in rhythm. What a cool concept!
Thank you. Would you be more, or less, impressed if I told you I got interrupted halfway through writing by a 4yo throwing up? Kind of destroys the mood! (What a day!!!)