Indulging in a Bit of Good, Old-Fashioned Stream of Consciousness

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via Flickr”]Sign of the time

Lately I’m suffering from extreme lack of creativity in blogging. Of course, it doesn’t help that it’s turning into one of Those Times. You know. The ones when all petty irritations converge on a point, namely your nerves, and suddenly all the drama of the Furies comes gushing out of your mouth upon the heads of people who only sort of deserve it. Like school nurses who seem incapable of accepting that all your kids have really bad allergies/colds, and the plethora of Other Symptoms means it really isn’t contagious pinkeye, and why are you making me come pick up my daughter from school, which causes me to have to skip nap for another sick child and go get the third one from school early so we can go to a stupid doctor appointment to be told that guess what, your kids have ALLERGIES??????

Uh…excuse me while I go plunge into the creek to lower my blood pressure.

Also this week, Nicholas has officially crowned himself The Worst Sick Child I’ve Ever Had. I remember when he was a baby, shaking my head and calling him a Drama King. Up to then, we called Julianna the Drama Queen, but she’s had to relinquish her monarchy. Julianna, I told Christian, at least had reason to pile on the drama.

The last two nights, Nicholas has been up 7-8 times per night. Last night was actually better, because at least he wasn’t screaming pathetically, “I need tih-oo!” every time he woke up. (Tissue, in case you aren’t fluent in Toddler-ese. And lest you think I am overstating the case by calling it screaming…take my word for it. I’m not. Sunday night, every time I almost fell asleep, I’d be yanked back to consciousness by the sound. Nerve-shredding, I’m telling you.

Last night was better, without the screaming. A big improvement, although being awakened by the sound of your door being  banging against the door stop is no fun, either. I’ve learned two things the last two days:

1. When Nicholas grows up, he’ll be the classic “bad patient.” Just saying.

2. I must do everything in my power to ensure that Nicholas never gets sick again. EVER.

In between sick kids, flirting with being sick myself, finishing up a teaching gig in another town, preparing for three public speaking engagements in the next 6 days (each of them a separate topic) and the usual attempts to write, I’ve found myself floundering on the blog. I don’t know if everybody’s just overwhelmed like me now that school’s started and the fundraising and football seasons have begun, or if I’m actually losing your interest, but my stats have taken a hit the last couple of weeks.

If you’re a blogger, you know that leads to serious self-questioning and an obsessive search for ways to FIX IT! So I’ve been trying out some new blog carnivals/memes, some of which I like quite a bit.

The only trouble is, I abandoned most of my old memes a few months ago, because the time I was putting into going around visiting other people didn’t seem to be translating into any significant bump in hits. I got the sense I was seeking new readers unsuccessfully while not really serving my own readership or being true to myself. So I took the plunge and found, gratifyingly, that my stats didn’t suffer for it.

And now I wonder if trying to push the meme thing again is why I’m struggling with both inspiration and stats.

Anyway.

My goal every day in writing is to have a point. And if you can’t tell, this post really has no point. I just gave myself permission to do some good old-fashioned stream-of-consciousness Journaling today. You know what else? It didn’t take very long to write. What do you know? That qualifies it for yet another meme I haven’t visited in quite a while. Now, what image shall I use to sum up this fractured, useless post?….

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15 thoughts on “Indulging in a Bit of Good, Old-Fashioned Stream of Consciousness

  1. I enjoyed your rambling about life. I love to read about the goings on of poeple’s lives. And the blogging I understand. Sometimes I wonder why I kill myself doing this. But in the end it boils down to the fact that I just love to write and socialize.

  2. When Jacob was a baby (still on formula to suplement breast feeding), we sent him to a well-respected daycare in town. Then it began. Calls, at least 2 PER WEEK, saying we needed to come pick him up because he was developing thrush, and couldn’t be around the other children. After about 4 weeks of this and significant copays at the doctor’s office to get him cleared from something we knew he did not have, we investigated the problem. Lesley would get the call saying he was developing thrush. We would check him over upon our arrival and calmly explain to the young ladies (none of whom were mothers themselves yet) that it was not thrush. The white substance in his mouth was, in fact, residue from the formula that he had been fed less than half an hour before. As soon as possible, we moved him to an experienced in-home daycare provider, that we have loved ever since.

  3. Patti Wagnitz

    I read your posts religiously everyday, but I don’t usually comment. Being technology challenged, can you tell if I just log on and read?
    You are an inspiration to me, and a gifted writer.

  4. I completely understand when writing takes a backseat to LIFE!
    Especially when sick kids are able to monopolize every single spare moment of your day… and whine throughout each moment you’re unavailable.
    As mothers, we are the Go-To adult with every sniffle, ache, and disappointment. 🙂

    It isn’t “just you”. I think we all suffer from the rollercoaster ups-and-downs of managing a real life, family, and online community. Sometimes, we need to step away from our blogs and websites for a bit… but your fans will understand and will be waiting.

  5. This post reminds me of an Elton John song: “If we’re all going somewhere, let’s get there soon, for this song has no title, just words and a tune.” Sometimes life just rambles. I hope that everyone in your family feels better soon!

  6. It *was* fun just to do a stream-of-consciousness post, but I shudder to think what any editor would think if they happened upon a post like this. “Oh, no, we don’t want any of THAT in our magazine/booklist!”

    Speaking of booklist, I’m supposed to be looking something up for my editor… AGH! EVEN MORE TO DO!

  7. evanscove

    Ah, the joys of parenthood… Maybe it would be better to forget about marriage and having kids and just follow the advice of those who have tried to persuade me to become a priest or religious brother…. Nah, can’t do it.

    But you do have joyful moments, do you not? (Please say you do!)

    Thanks for the rant. It was actually enjoyable to read. I think I’ll put some ‘stream-of-conscious’ posts like this on my blog now and then, whether a rant or otherwise.

    God bless you with patience, fortitude, and lots of love!

    Evan

    • Oh, yes, it’s joyful moments all the time…except when it’s not. It’s a tricky balance, walking the tightrope between ingratitude for the magnitude of the gift and pretending nothing bad ever happens.

  8. Moonshadow

    #2 is an excellent goal – let me know how that works out. 🙂

    Our bedroom door sticks in the humidity and, man, I wish the kids could get it open in the middle of the night. Seriously. At least then I wouldn’t have to scramble out of bed so quick to let them in. 🙂

    I’d like to say it “gets better” but I’m not so sure it ever does. 🙂

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