They’re so small.
You’d think that a mother approaching the birth of her fourth child in seven years (well, 7 ½) wouldn’t be floored by the sheer tininess. But as I pulled out our trusty cloth diapers, counted them, stacked them in the drawer, I couldn’t believe it. Every single baby diaper fit in one drawer. After close-on four years of double diapering, it just blew my mind.
I have to admit, I’m kind of freaking out here. People get out of the habit of having babies around, and then they feel a tug in the heart to have another, but they think back on the intensity of the experience, and they get scared off. When we started trying for #4, we were still in full-on Baby mode. But it took us six months to conceive. A lot can change in six months. And a lot more in the nine months that follow. We are no longer a baby household. We are a nighttime-and-nap-time-diapers family. A my-youngest-child-is-talking family. An everyone-has-chores (although they don’t always do them) family.
But seven weeks from now…
Well, let just say it’s making me think about how many more things than diaper drawers are going to change.
Some nights, I already get up seven times in six hours. How in the name of all that is holy am I going to comfort Julianna after a nightmare, the drama king when he has a runny nose, AND nurse a baby during the night?
How am I going to exercise? And post a blog? It’s already a delicate balance to do those two things and still get Alex off to school.
How am I going to chase down the munchkins when they run in opposite directions and I have a baby attached to the breast? (Is it possible to run and nurse simultaneously?)
I’m well aware that the writing is going to have to simmer down for a while. A good long while. But, um, I can’t even get the house clean now. How can I add the time commitment of a newborn on to the kid commitments I already have? The last time I had a baby, Alex was in preschool for a whopping two mornings a week. I freaked out when he had eight weeks of baseball once a week. And now it’s all-day school and piano lessons and homework, and Julianna on the bus, and Julianna’s speech homework, and…
Folks, I’m a little intimidated by what my life’s about to become.
Don’t get me wrong. It’ll all be worth it. The back shot, the surgery, the two weeks without driving and six weeks without lifting, the sleepless nights. It’ll already be worth it a week in—a day in. But there were plenty of times in Nicholas’s first six months when I lost all semblance of cool. And as I begin to contemplate the change to come, I’m kind of scared.
Pour some loving on me, folks.
Yes, it’s all worth it. Raising kids needs our sacrifice. Change our life.
You will be alright 🙂 don’t worry, you’ve been through this before.
Sometimes when we think too much, it will only make us more fearful and worry. Let it flow, do what you need to do.
Remember to always pray to God, ask for wisdom. We need to do our part and God will do the rest 🙂
I hope my words help and comfort you a little bit 🙂
Yulia
http://www.mylifeismyrainbow.wordpress.com
You’ll be fine. It’s number four and you’ve been down this road before (I have four, too. The youngest is about to be 9). You know the ropes, it’s just a little more complicated. And yes, you can nurse and run (if you have to), and do a lot of other things — if you must. Some things will slide by the way, some with wither and you’ll wonder how they once seemed important. Some things will become stronger. But everything will shift around in it’s own time, and you will find the time and the space.
Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your kids. Be kind to your partner. Rest. Those are the most important things: without them, nothing else really matters.
It will be ok — you’ll see.
What are the words of the Desiderata? The Universe is unfolding as it should…
Hugs 🙂 and smiles.
I have btdt! We conceived Dominic 3 months after Helen was potty-trained! We basically went 10 months with no diapers! Yet, we survived. This time around I had three in school, two in sports (one which I coach), plus our two full time jobs. My up, I yell a bit more than I used to. But it is an adjustment and we are making it. Clearly, you know you will make it, too. Just wanted to offer some, “you got this!” moral support. 🙂
Yes, I have been thinking @ you, and i have NO IDEA how you do it!!!!
you said the key words – first six months. I found it takes that long for life to find its new normalcy. Some things will slide during that time, some will be downright tossed aside but your family will have another member growing up to be a saint
I realized a couple kids ago that it’s six months–I wish it was six days, or six weeks!
Well, I only have two, but I distinctly remember my similar freak-out right before the 2nd one was born. What’ll happen is, most days you won’t even notice that you have to do everything differently — you just do it because that’s how it has to be. Don’t worry, there are lots of people who love you who’ll be praying for you! Even people inside the computer! 🙂
You can do it! You’re an old pro at the mama stuff by now. 🙂 Those are all legitimate, and normal, concerns, but you will find your way. I say, hire a housecleaner (at least temporarily) and accept that writing will be on the back burner for a while. Are you a baby-sling person? That was the only way I managed potty training, playing soccer, and generally keeping up with my older son when I had a newborn!
We were problem solving the exercise last night and I thought the sling (or the Snugli) might be the only way I can get it done.
Oh, I could have written this post. We’re due about the same time with #4 and I’m having similar freak-outs. (“How is DH going to manage getting four kids ready by himself in the morning? Will pumping/nursing work out when I go back to work? Will we be able to squeak by financially while I’m on my unpaid leave?” Etc.)
I just try to remind myself that if God thinks I can handle a new baby, then I can handle a new baby. It’s hard to remember that, though!
You’ll figure it out and make it all work! Get a sling to carry that baby in while you’re breastfeeding…then you still have your hands free! Oh, and just be glad it isn’t twins!
I’m SO glad it isn’t twins! LOL
I am excited for you and praying that God will give you the grace and strength you need in the days to come! Wish I could find time to see you sometime!
My mom had 4 kids in 5 years then added 2 more for extra measure. You’ll be just fine. Not sane, but fine.
Consider yourself loved on! 🙂
And oh my, yes. The teeny tininess is shocking, always shocking.
You can do it! Just give yourself a break from some of the unnecessaries…and call on your friends! I’ve been known to hang out with Basi child or two 🙂
One day at a time. That’s how you’ll do it. Just one day at a time. Besides, you are one of the most organized, together people I know. You will be just fine. 🙂
You will do it with joy and love (and some screaming and yelling) like all the rest of us. I had my 5 in 5 yrs. 9 mos. At the time, I was crazy, but I look back on it now with joy. My “baby” is 8 now and my big one almost 14. You will do it with every baby smile, Julianna giggle, Nicholas word, and Alex cuddle. I work all the time with tiny babies and am still so shocked at how tiny and perfect they are. They know how to eat and hold fingers and smile. It’s amazing. It’s an incredible blessing to hold one to your breast and nourish her. You will be wonderful!!! The laundry may pile up (clean or dirty), the house may be messier, and the kids may eat cereal for every meal for a few months, but that’s ok. It’s all part of having a new tiny blessing in your life!!
Although you’re feeling overwhelmed and a bit anxious right now I felt peace when I read your post. That’s because you know the things that matter….that it will be a big change, it will be tough at times, it will get better, and God will give you the wisdom, strenghth, and sense of humor you will need!! You sooooo got this sister!! 🙂
You may find the blog a great creative outlet and source of adult “conversation”, I wish I would have had something like this when my 3 were little.
Thanks for stopping by….glad I was able to come visit.
Blessings on your new little one!
You’ll do it because you’re a mother and that’s what we do. You’re worried now and you’ll look back on it with some amazement. But all the important stuff will indeed get done – and your heart will grow just a little bit bigger too.
Thank you all! I’m sorry I can’t reply in more depth; as you will find if you visit me regularly, I’m without computer at present, and on a 30-minute time limit at the library, with an article to resurrect off email and get sent in on time!
BTDT! I had #4 after my youngest was 5. She’d been potty-trained for 3 years. She slept through the night. I hadn’t carried a diaper bag in forever. You learn quickly…and you forget the diaper bag at home an hour away. LOL
Take deep breaths. Then remember, take it one moment at a time. You’ll get through it.
Oh, I remember those days! The days of washing all the baby clothes and folding them and putting them in the drawer, ready and waiting. And freaking out accordingly. You’ve taken me back there!
I have four. If I can do it, anyone can. You can. God bless.
Start planning now on what you can do to simplify everything. Cut stuff out where you can. Don’t “should” on yourself. And remember that God will give you all the graces necessary to handle this. You’re extremely capable and will grow into the new normal just fine.
God never gives us what we can’t handle, so I know you will be fine. 🙂 It may be difficult, but do try and ask for help when you need it!