I'm in awe of this picture. But this child is driving me nuts. In fact, oddly enough, he was driving me nuts when the picture was taken, too.
I’m in awe of this picture. But this child is driving me nuts. In fact, oddly enough, he was driving me nuts when the picture was taken, too.

There are many mysteries in the world. Like my computer, which for some reason decided recently to require Control-Alt-Delete before giving me my login screen, after eighteen months of bringing it up automatically. The fact that Java has to be given permission every single morning to “make changes to my computer” since I downloaded an upgrade a few weeks ago. Or the fact that Word Press suddenly, without warning or explanation, began defaulting to HTML instead of “what-you-see-is-what-you-get.”

Or Michael, who suddenly has decided to get up three to five times a night because he’s thirsty. Or maybe just because he woke up. Sometimes a quick drink of water is all it takes and he plops back down and goes back to sleep. Other times, he feels it necessary to work himself into a lather requiring a snuggle and some patting before he’ll consent to take a drink–in your arms. Other times, you have to forcibly shove the glass between his lips in the middle of a shriek, and his little teeth clamp down on it before he realizes it’s there.

Mornings are turning into a real test of my patience. This morning he woke me up for the day at 4:40 a.m. for his third drink of the night. He went back to sleep; I did not. I got up at 5:15 to go to Jazzercise, and upon returning he greeted me with nearly an hour of solid complaining, whining and crying, broken only when, after great writhing and protesting, he finally consented to nurse for a few minutes. Otherwise, he was yelling at me. For a solid hour. No matter what I did, it was wrong. And woe behold me if I so much as think about helping Julianna get ready for school.

He completely ignored the stop-gap snack I gave him while the scrambled eggs were under preparation. It’s so much more pleasant for everyone to SCREAM THE ENTIRE TIME. Perhaps it would not shock you to discover that a mom who is a) sick, b) couldn’t get to sleep last night, c) was awakened three times, and d) has been screamed at for an hour, did NOT keep her cool at breakfast.

Not a terrific start to the week.

Minor irritants, but irritating because they are irrational. Irrationality drives me nuts. Not one of these annoyances is insurmountable. All of them have simple work-arounds: a quick click, a nap for Mommy. But they mess with my sense of control. The computer things seem too petty to waste time trying to figure out. Mostly I just wish the software geniuses would quit messing with things to justify their paycheck. And the baby? Oh, brother. I can only repeat my mantra:

I am not a toddler mom. And that’s okay.

This too, shall pass.

Insert other annoying, not-helpful cliche.

Shut computer off. Take nap. Practice flute. Work on song text. Grocery shop. Teach. Shower? Oh, who am I kidding? No way this is going to be a productive day.