**Note! Please take this as a lighthearted reflection, not finger-wagging! I’m well aware that this is dangerous territory. 😉 **
Dog lovers of the world–and I know there are a lot of you–I need you to listen closely. My daughter hates your dog. It’s nothing personal. She hates every dog. Every one. Every size. Every shape. Every age. There has never been a single dog in the entire world that my daughter has liked.
Stop trying to tell me yours is the exception.
I know you like your dog. I believe you when you say other kids who are scared of dogs like your dog. But my daughter will not. There are a lot of dogs in my neighborhood. As in: fourteen dogs in the eight houses closest to us. We have a lot of experience with them. When I tell you my daughter is scared of your dog, please accept that I know what I am talking about.
I know it might be tempting to blame me, the “there will never be a pet of any kind under any circumstances in my house and especially not a slobbering, licking, barking, smelly dog” woman. But Julianna does, after all, have a confirmed dog lover for a father. A man who almost cried at age 24 when his parents were forced to put their cocker spaniel to sleep.
Trust me, I may not like dogs, but with fourteen of them within a hundred yards of our house, I consider it a survival skill to coexist peacefully with them. Heck, I’d be happy if my daughter would accept their presence in the universe. But it’s a lost cause. If I pull her away it’s simply because I have learned that dog + Julianna = more laundry, bloodcurdling screams, and a nearly-successful attempt to climb me.
I know you don’t get it. You love dogs, and you just don’t see how anybody could view them otherwise. But I assure you, it’s quite possible.
And in my daughter’s defense, let me share two stories, one about me, one about her.
I grew up on a gravel road, and in the summertime I rode my bike to the neighbors’ house, 1/4 mile away, nearly every day. I had to grit my teeth and do it because a big black lab lived midway between our houses, and he chased me every single time, barking. News flash: that’s scary.
By the time I was a senior in high school, I had learned that dogs can tell when you’re scared, and the best way to handle them is not to be. So this particular day, I didn’t let him push me all over the road. I stayed in my lane and yelled at him.
And he bit me in the thigh.
I don’t like dogs.
Now, a much cuter story about Julianna. Picture an 18-month-old little girl, far from walking, just getting stable on her bottom and learning to transition into crawling position. Said cutie pie is sitting outside with Daddy, who has dug a 2-foot-deep hole to plant a tree. Great big–extremely friendly, but very big–golden retriever that lives next door comes running over and bops her on the butt. Darling daughter tips forward head-first into a hole full of water.
Some scars run deep.
So when we see you in the park, don’t tell me how not-scary your dog is. Don’t tell me all the reasons why we should fawn over and adore your pooch. Don’t give us the “are you crazy?” look because my daughter is screaming bloody murder. Please believe me: I really am trying to soothe her, to get her to release at least a couple of the 650 muscles she has locked up at the sight of a canine. I’m afraid you’re simply going to have to accept the unfathomable truth that some people just don’t like dogs.
Kathleen M. Basi 
As a fellow non dog lover, I really appreciated this. a lot. I actually once had a grown a adult, with tears in her eyes, tell me she couldn’t believe I would be so selfish and cruel by not getting my children a pet. For real?!?
Even though we have a dog, I am not a dog lover and was scared of big dogs as a child.
Unfortunately too many people see their dogs as their children and therefore expect you to accept them. 😦
I can understand where you are coming from though I am big dog lover, I don’t like when people let their dogs go up to strangers without any restraint or control. No once forces me to go up a tower and dangle from the outside so no one should force your child to be near a dog. It is nice that you try to co exist peacefully 😀 Most people wouldn’t. I think we all need a little bit more understanding in our life. Nicely done! 🙂
omgosh. I so relate. One of ours is terrified of dogs. What i don’t get is when you go to visit a friend or relative and your child is shrieking nonstop about the dog staring, licking, approaching, etc–why don’t you put your dog outside???? this alone drives me insane and I have been in this in situation over and over again. i am there to visit for a brief time and the ppl I am visiting think it is my problem that my child is scared of the dog…or that somehow the child will stop being scared all of a sudden. Why can’t they just put the dog outside or in another room or somewhere away from the guest. Don’t get it.
I always feel bad when people have to put their dogs out because of my kids, but I don’t know what other solution there is. Luckily I have really courteous friends. 🙂
I’m a dog lover. I don’t have a dog now. None allowed where I live and that’s ok. I hope I was always considerate. The last thing I would want to do was scare someone. Especially a child. So don’t feel bad if someone has to put their dog out when your kids are around. It only makes sense. I don’t understand why some dog owners don’t get that.
“Hate” is too mild a word for my feelings about dogs. I do not allow the in my house and will call the city if one is off-leash in the neighborhood.
My sister-in-law has chihuahuas and I’ve explained to her that I will kick them across the yard if they come near me. I’ve almost packed Daniel up and left their house because she and my mother-in-law have tried to tell me that Daniel likes the chihuahuas. Yeah… my kid is screaming in terror because your oversized rats are growling at him.
/rant
I have to say I’m astonished at the number (and strength!) of reactions people have had to this piece! LOL
I am a dog lover. Now. When I was younger than I can remember, a dog who was trying to be friendly knocked me over. Instead of monsters in the closet, I had nightmares of dogs under my bed to the point of my parents turning on the lights and proving to me they weren’t there. That I DO remember. It wasn’t until I met my husband at age 22 and was around large dogs almost every day that being close to one didn’t make my throat almost close in fear. As a matter of fact, their 3 big dogs were almost a deal-breaker because I wanted to hyperventilate every time I went to his parent’s house. It’s irrational, but to the person going through it, it’s real.
That story about Julianna getting knocked into the tree hole is hilarious!
🙂 I only know it by legend; Christian’s the one who observed it, but this is about how he tells it.