Six Uses for Palm Branches During Church that the Church Never Intended

Standard

In which

 plus One blanket kids

equals

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

Our pastor began Palm Sunday Mass by saying: “Good morning! Welcome on Palm Sunday! The church cleaners always fuss at me about cleaning the church after we’ve had palm branches. So please don’t play with them!” Things my kids did with palms during church yesterday

6. Phantom pokes on my scalp and near-misses to the corner of my eye with sharp ends of palm branches.

5. Fights over whose palm cross belonged to whom.

4. Palm crosses coming unfolded to general wails.

3. Palm branches nearly smacking the choir member beside me in the face. (cough-Julianna!-cough)

2. A growl from Alex to Michael when Michael slammed down a heavy choir hymnal on top of a palm cross. (My reply: “Alex. Jesus is dying on the cross. I really don’t think he cares if a palm cross gets crushed.”)

1. And finally, my favorite: the Palm Cross as Baseball Bat. Yes, Nicholas, I’m looking at you.

File this one under the category of my mother’s voice saying, “Yes, there were many Masses when you girls were young that we didn’t get much out of.”

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4 thoughts on “Six Uses for Palm Branches During Church that the Church Never Intended

  1. betternotbroken

    I saw the palms converted artfully into a crosses and then inverted and held like swords between two children, I am pretty sure this was not the intention either. Your mother was right, and that file is quite large but something got to you somehow of that I am sure. Thank you for the morning chuckle.

  2. Jen

    It’s not like I have any pictures online of me jousting with my palm frond, especially on the “About” page of my blog. 😉

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