We’re going to do something a bit different today: it’s your turn to talk! A few weeks ago, I asked my Facebook community to share their best “kids in church” stories: the good, the bad, the ugly. I got twice as much as I could use for a single post; hence the “part 1” in the title. If you have stories to add, chime in. Use the combox or send me an email at kathleenbasi (at) gmail (dot) com, and I’ll add them to the queue. Who knows? Maybe we can make this a regular feature.
Without further ado, I present:
Kids in church stories, Part 1
A. has recently become very fascinated with being nude. And we just happened to call her “naked butt” while she was running around without clothes one day. Well, she has an incredible memory and continues to call herself that. At Mass one Sunday, she noticed the Crucifix. Joe pointed out that it was Jesus. She yelled out “Naked Butt Jesus!”
7pm Mass, “Teddy” was maybe two, I’m in front doing music. The lector hadn’t shown up that night so Fr. Henry (all 6’7″ of him) is at the ambo, just finished the petitions and there’s that moment of silence after the prayer before he walks back to his chair and I announce the offertory. “Teddy” is sitting with Grandma and Grandpa, far side of the church, 3rd window back, per usual. In that moment of silence his voice rings out, very sing song-y….”Mooooommmy! I poooopy! Come chaaaange me!” Fr. Henry looks at me, I look at him, and say….”Our offertory song is….” (Hey, daddy can deal, right?)
The minister asked a rhetorical question, and S. tried to answer.
I carried I. up to communion when he was two and as soon as I stepped away from the priest, he started wailing (at the top of his lungs) “I want a snack too!!”
One year when my big ones were little we sang Away in a Manger every night during Advent, as part of our Advent Wreath/nightly prayers routine. I taught them hand motions. On Christmas Eve we were stuck on chairs in the back of church and the Offertory was Away in a Manger. They both stood up and started singing and doing the hand motions.
When my brother was young he thought the priest was Jesus. One day the Bishop officiated the mass and processed down in all his glory and he proclaimed loudly “wow! That must be Jesus in heaven!”
When I was very little, we were all seated in a pew. I was watching everyone walk in before mass. A little old lady walked in with freshly done hair. And you know how it can sometimes get a blue-purple tint when it’s white and freshly permed? Well, I stood up on the pew, pointed and my mouth opened. Mom said she could see the wheels turning. She clamped her hand over my mouth and pulled me down before I could ask why her hair was purple. Mom was mortified!
W. was born on December 23. I threw a fit to get out of the hospital for 10:30 (Christmas Eve) Mass. We walked in during the second verse of Silent Night. Fr. John just about fell off the altar (I was due 1/7). At the end of Mass, he came back, blessed us, & carried W. around the church held high like the Lion King. After 18 years, people still tell me how special that was to them.
And finally, today’s winner…
Amy W: My fave is from when T. was about 4, and we saw our pastor (by chance) in Costco. Instead of a greeting, he pointed and yelled in alarm, “Mom! They let that guy out of our church!” Without missing a beat, the pastor answered, “Only to stock up on food.”