Time for another round of “Kids in Church” moments: the funny, the painfully embarrassing, and the sweet! (If you missed Volume One, click here.)
I’ve always taken to the boys with me when I go communion. Fr Joe’s first weekend at St. Andrew’s, I take C. up and Fr reaches his hand out to bless him, and C. reaches up gives him a high five! Fr and I laugh and he can’t say “Body of Christ”. So after mass I ask him if he’s ever had that happen and he tell me no. But every week C. wants to give Fr a high five at communion!
A. was about 3 or 4 years old and loved to turn around and look at the people who sat behind us. One Sunday there was a lovely family with a few teenage girls and a mom and a dad. A. turned around and pointed to the first girl and said “blonde hair”, she moved her little finger in front of the next girl and said “brown hair” then she got to the dad and said “no hair!”
When I was about 12 we were at Mass and there was a family sitting in front row directly in front of the priest. The boy, probably 4, was scratching his privates. His mother tried to distract during the singing of the psalm. As soon at the music ended and all was silent the kid yelled at his mother, “But my penis itches!”
“Teddy” is about 3 or so, and he and my husband are sitting in the second row in front of me (in front per usual) at a Sunday morning Mass (just me and the guitar again). This is before the addition was built at IC so the windows on that side actually lead to outside. It’s a warm day, and they’re open. Teddy is, shall we say, way over energetic and just not behaving at all and his dad is fed up. It’s at that quiet moment of Mass, I think it was right before Communion. So, my husband is talking to Teddy, counting down to taking him out, and finally goes to take him out. He has to pass right in front of me with the microphone right there, and Teddy screams, “No, Daddy, noooo! Pleeeease!” Out the door they go, but they’re right by the open window….. And then we hear, “No, Daddy, no, please! Don’t spank me! Please!” followed by…… the sound of a spanking. Once again, all I could do was announce the song…..
Two weeks ago, right at the start of the Gospel, the deacon read, “Jesus said,” and a toddler shrieked right on cue into the pause. Not missing a beat, the deacon went on, “Not quite. More like this.” The man gets a gold star for making an embarrassing moment a point of grace.
This weekend, just before a snappy responsorial Ps 126, the pianist’s toddlers escaped from Grandpa and ran screaming gleefully. As an aunt, I am WELL-TRAINED not to express my amusement. And as the conductor, I didn’t want to crack up my cantor. But oh my, it was so.hard. Come on. “We are filled with joy”? It’s not fair!
A friend’s toddler was acting up in church, and when she got up and started to carry him out he called out “Pray for me!”
One of my children, when people were saying “peace be with you,” would holler “I want a piece! Give me a piece!”
My nephew saw the priest transferring hosts from one plate to another and called out excitedly, “He’s got chips!”
Any more? Leave them in the comments or email me at kathleeenbasi (at) gmail (dot) com! Can we keep this series going?