Alex, 11, as we pull in the driveway after school: “You guys used 30 pronouns in the time between the stop sign by the pool and here.”
Me: “Were you counting?”
Alex: “Yes, and that was another one.”
Julianna, 9, in the van, listening to Puff the Magic Dragon on the beat-up Peter, Paul & Mommy CD: “…AND FOCKUS IN DEE AUTUMN MIST…”
Me, because there are way too many words that, in the mouth of a child with speech problems, turn into the F-bomb: “Julianna. Frrrrrrrrrollllllllicked.”
Me: “That’s it! Good!”
Julianna: “PUFF THE MADZIC DRAGON LIVE BY DA SEA AND FOCKUS IN DEE AUTUMN MIST…”
Me: (Face palm.)
Nicholas, 7, making his breakfast the day after throwing up.
Me: “Nicholas, have you had any funny moments lately?”
Well, there you go.
Michael, 4 11/12, on Halloween, wearing a sloppily-cut sheet spattered with blue paint, made by Mom, who is not the whiz of Halloween costuming in the house. He is tripping over his hem, and the sheet keeps getting pulled sideways, so the eye holes are nowhere near his eyes.
Michael: “It’s HARD to be a ghost!”
And finally…this year, it’s official: We’ve had Christmas carols for 12 months straight. They never stopped singing them the entire year.
Parenthood. A nonstop adventure.