Of Patients and Patience

He leaned on the foot of the crib, watching Julianna while he talked to me, just as he has for the last…well, I think it’s six days now (it’s all running together)… explaining why he had ordered the nurses to slow the process of weaning Julianna off dobutamine, and thus keep us in the ICU…

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Almost There

When I came in this morning, the flow-pap was gone. After bath this morning, my baby girl’s cheeks are kissable again– IOW, not covered with tape and second skin and tubing. She has figured out that if she fingers her IV tubes and starts tugging, Mommy will pay lots of attention to her. Yee-haw. (Remember that…

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Looking Up…tentatively

Julianna spent the entire morning screaming. Those who have ever heard her get mad at her brother know the sound I’m talking about. She did not take a break from the time I got here until after 1p.m., except for ten minutes when I think  she actually slept. Just one breath after another, AAAAEEEEHH! It…

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Skewered on my own eloquence

Three weeks ago (has it been so long already?), I gave a retreat presentation on music and spirituality. During it, I spoke of music as a way to help us express the whole range of human emotion—both positive and negative—in a prayerful way. The example I used was “Hold Me, Jesus,” by Rich Mullins. It’s…

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The hospital is in E flat major

It’s odd that I don’t write much about music, considering that my degrees are in music and that music has been the focus of all my education, and the only activity in which I participated significantly, ever. Music defined my entire existence for about 7 years after high school.   I always had a good sense of…

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PICU, how I have missed thee…or not

Overnight, Julianna lost her IV and did not sleep. By this morning, she was just about exhausted. I realize now how much I overuse that word. Exhausted…all energy gone, not in the sense that we use it, meaning “I want a nap,” but in the sense that she is out of gas; she physically cannot…

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