How To Fight

If my husband is upset, he cannot eat. But he can always, always sleep. If I am upset, I can always eat. But I cannot sleep. Therein lies the challenge for us in conflict resolution. Before we got married we were required to attend Engaged Encounter. One of the resource couples that weekend laid out…

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What It’s Like To Practice Natural Family Planning

After yesterday’s post about why I don’t like birth control, I think it only makes sense to talk about the alternative. Natural family planning is widely reviled as a game of reproductive roulette, an unreasonable burden on couples, or an unnecessary restriction on sexual expression. Those of us who use NFP try to dispel those myths,…

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He thinks he’s sooooooo funny

He thinks he’s soooooo funny. There’s a basketball hoop at one side of the driveway, and it’s in the perfect place for the preschooler’s car door to smack into when he gets out. And Christian hates marks on the car. So on days when I’m coming and going, coming and going, I’ve gotten into the…

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Marriage Has Made Me Free

The other day, Christian looked up from Discover magazine and chuckled. “Guess what?” he said. “73% of Discover readers think humans are meant to be polyamorous.” I confess: I rolled my eyes. Monogamy can be a challenge, I’ll grant you, but the alternative causes such pain and dysfunction, so much emotional scarring for the adults…

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Sex, Love, and Women’s Fiction

I’ve been reading a lot of women’s fiction lately, and reading it with a more critical eye than is usual for me. As I contemplate the novel query stage, I’m analyzing how my book fits into what’s already out there. There’s a lot of really good writing out there: great character depth and engrossing storytelling.…

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Fourteen Years Ago…

…this is what we were doing. ___1___ ___2___ ___3___ ___4___ At the end, we joined our choir (the one where we met). * ___5___ Now brace yourself. This next photo is really, entirely, wholly, completely liturgically inappropriate. But it was also unstaged, and for that reason it’s precious in my memory. (It was after the…

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Messes, Marriage and Speech Therapy (a 7QT post)

___1___ I am beginning to accept an incontrovertible truth: if there is a mess to be made, Michael will make it. Wednesday morning, he turned over a cooler half full of water and ice, which we’d been too busy to empty after taking snacks to baseball Tuesday night (that was the end of a marathon…

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The Perfect Moment

There’s a hum of anticipation in the air tonight. It’s been building all day, as anticipation only can in a household of two too-busy adults and four, well, children. (That word: children, just seems woefully insufficient to describe all the beautiful and not-so-beautiful chaos that ensues in their presence. I feel like I need a…

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Reality Beats the Fairy Tale All To Pieces

When I was ten, I thought I was going to go to Calcutta and be one of Mother Teresa’s nuns. Well, anyway, some kind of a nun. I remember spending one whole library visit looking through the lists of religious orders and seeing which ones sounded the most exciting. By the time I was in…

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Making Marriage Better

I’m qualified to write on that topic, don’t you think? 🙂 Today I’m sending you to a guest post I wrote. I’ve talked before about how the experience of infertility convinced me that planning our family naturally was so much more respectful of who I am as a human being in general, and a woman in particular. But…

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