Kids in Church, Vol. 2

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Time for another round of “Kids in Church” moments: the funny, the painfully embarrassing, and the sweet! (If you missed Volume One, click here.)

Photo by wackystuff, via Flickr

Lisa H.

I’ve always taken to the boys with me when I go communion. Fr Joe’s first weekend at St. Andrew’s, I take C. up and Fr reaches his hand out to bless him, and C. reaches up gives him a high five! Fr and I laugh and he can’t say “Body of Christ”. So after mass I ask him if he’s ever had that happen and he tell me no. But every week C. wants to give Fr a high five at communion!

Roberta L.:

A. was about 3 or 4 years old and loved to turn around and look at the people who sat behind us. One Sunday there was a lovely family with a few teenage girls and a mom and a dad. A. turned around and pointed to the first girl and said “blonde hair”, she moved her little finger in front of the next girl and said “brown hair” then she got to the dad and said “no hair!”

Holly T.:

When I was about 12 we were at Mass and there was a family sitting in front row directly in front of the priest. The boy, probably 4, was scratching his privates. His mother tried to distract during the singing of the psalm. As soon at the music ended and all was silent the kid yelled at his mother, “But my penis itches!”

Laura F.:

“Teddy” is about 3 or so, and he and my husband are sitting in the second row in front of me (in front per usual) at a Sunday morning Mass (just me and the guitar again). This is before the addition was built at IC so the windows on that side actually lead to outside. It’s a warm day, and they’re open. Teddy is, shall we say, way over energetic and just not behaving at all and his dad is fed up. It’s at that quiet moment of Mass, I think it was right before Communion. So, my husband is talking to Teddy, counting down to taking him out, and finally goes to take him out. He has to pass right in front of me with the microphone right there, and Teddy screams, “No, Daddy, noooo! Pleeeease!” Out the door they go, but they’re right by the open window….. And then we hear, “No, Daddy, no, please! Don’t spank me! Please!” followed by…… the sound of a spanking. Once again, all I could do was announce the song…..

Sherrie V.M.:

Two weeks ago, right at the start of the Gospel, the deacon read, “Jesus said,” and a toddler shrieked right on cue into the pause. Not missing a beat, the deacon went on, “Not quite. More like this.” The man gets a gold star for making an embarrassing moment a point of grace.

Siobhan M.:

This weekend, just before a snappy responsorial Ps 126, the pianist’s toddlers escaped from Grandpa and ran screaming gleefully. As an aunt, I am WELL-TRAINED not to express my amusement. And as the conductor, I didn’t want to crack up my cantor. But oh my, it was so.hard. Come on. “We are filled with joy”? It’s not fair!

Karen A.:

A friend’s toddler was acting up in church, and when she got up and started to carry him out he called out “Pray for me!”

Janelle L.:

One of my children, when people were saying “peace be with you,” would holler “I want a piece! Give me a piece!”

Janet R.:

My nephew saw the priest transferring hosts from one plate to another and called out excitedly, “He’s got chips!”

Any more? Leave them in the comments or email me at kathleeenbasi (at) gmail (dot) com! Can we keep this series going?

“Kids in Church,” Part 1

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We’re going to do something a bit different today: it’s your turn to talk! A few weeks ago, I asked my Facebook community to share their best “kids in church” stories: the good, the bad, the ugly. I got twice as much as I could use for a single post; hence the “part 1” in the title. If you have stories to add, chime in. Use the combox or send me an email at kathleenbasi (at) gmail (dot) com, and I’ll add them to the queue. Who knows? Maybe we can make this a regular feature.

Without further ado, I present:

Kids in church stories, Part 1

 

Photo by Alex Sansão, via Flickr

Lauren F:

A. has recently become very fascinated with being nude. And we just happened to call her “naked butt” while she was running around without clothes one day. Well, she has an incredible memory and continues to call herself that. At Mass one Sunday, she noticed the Crucifix. Joe pointed out that it was Jesus. She yelled out “Naked Butt Jesus!”

Laura F:

7pm Mass, “Teddy” was maybe two, I’m in front doing music. The lector hadn’t shown up that night so Fr. Henry (all 6’7″ of him) is at the ambo, just finished the petitions and there’s that moment of silence after the prayer before he walks back to his chair and I announce the offertory. “Teddy” is sitting with Grandma and Grandpa, far side of the church, 3rd window back, per usual. In that moment of silence his voice rings out, very sing song-y….”Mooooommmy! I poooopy! Come chaaaange me!” Fr. Henry looks at me, I look at him, and say….”Our offertory song is….” (Hey, daddy can deal, right?)

Brian K:

The minister asked a rhetorical question, and S. tried to answer.

Michelle B:

I carried I. up to communion when he was two and as soon as I stepped away from the priest, he started wailing (at the top of his lungs) “I want a snack too!!”

Ruth C.:

One year when my big ones were little we sang Away in a Manger every night during Advent, as part of our Advent Wreath/nightly prayers routine. I taught them hand motions. On Christmas Eve we were stuck on chairs in the back of church and the Offertory was Away in a Manger. They both stood up and started singing and doing the hand motions.

Catherine M:

When my brother was young he thought the priest was Jesus. One day the Bishop officiated the mass and processed down in all his glory and he proclaimed loudly “wow! That must be Jesus in heaven!”

Emily R:

When I was very little, we were all seated in a pew. I was watching everyone walk in before mass. A little old lady walked in with freshly done hair. And you know how it can sometimes get a blue-purple tint when it’s white and freshly permed? Well, I stood up on the pew, pointed and my mouth opened. Mom said she could see the wheels turning. She clamped her hand over my mouth and pulled me down before I could ask why her hair was purple. Mom was mortified!

Carrie E.:

W. was born on December 23. I threw a fit to get out of the hospital for 10:30 (Christmas Eve) Mass. We walked in during the second verse of Silent Night. Fr. John just about fell off the altar (I was due 1/7). At the end of Mass, he came back, blessed us, & carried W. around the church held high like the Lion King. After 18 years, people still tell me how special that was to them.

And finally, today’s winner…

Amy W: My fave is from when T. was about 4, and we saw our pastor (by chance) in Costco. Instead of a greeting, he pointed and yelled in alarm, “Mom! They let that guy out of our church!” Without missing a beat, the pastor answered, “Only to stock up on food.”