Big Feet

The thing about having four children close together is that I’ve been locked in small child mode for so long, I’ve become fixated on the age of five. By five, they should be past diapers and defiance, they can brush their own teeth and bathe themselves, be trusted with certain tasks and I can feel…

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In Which My Daughter Becomes Me

After my sister and I drove my parents to the brink of insanity with our bickering, my parents finished the basement and moved her downstairs, and I had my very own bedroom in the northwest corner of the farmhouse. From then until I moved out of the house, the double bed was shoved into the…

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The Ties That Bind

During my first pregnancy, I was a voracious reader of all things baby-related. So I knew going into the birth experience that not everyone falls head over heels for their baby at first sight. Sometimes, the collective wisdom of the experts warned, bonding takes time. By the time Alex finally made his appearance, after almost…

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Bittersweet…till he brings me back to reality

In six days, Michael will be six months old. You know what that means: it’s time for the first meal. I was determined to make it all the way to six months on breast alone this time, but like his brothers, he had other ideas. Ideas that involve wailing if left on the floor during a…

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Moonglow

The world is black and white and silver beneath the full moon as I stumble down the hallway and retrieve a hungry boy from his crib. It’s been weeks now since we’ve needed to turn on the light to help us latch, so as we enter the room, the nursing chair waits in a mural…

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He’s Cranky? Run Some Bath Water!

People are always asking me, “Is Michael always this happy?” The answer is basically yes. He’s a very smiley baby, and if he isn’t it’s because he a) needs a diaper change, b) is hungry, or c) is tired. I credit the NICU. If ten days being poked, prodded, and forced to lie for hours…

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Class Clown In Training

Remember this picture? When Christian saw this picture, he shook his head and said, “I’m telling you, we’re gonna have trouble with that one.” That was a year ago. When Nicholas was barely two years old. Now just imagine what life is like with this child at three. “Mommy, I a goofball,” he says to…

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Core

“Mommy, that boy called me stupid.” I shaded my eyes against the yellow heat of the sinking sun and saw Alex, his big brown eyes simultaneously wide and droopy, pressed against chain link as if trying to squeeze through the backstop and draw comfort from me. I hitched Michael up onto my hip and got…

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And Then, My Laundry Pile Moved…

It’s a crazy day as usual in the Basi household. My mother would shake her head if she saw me stepping through the laundry pile at the top of my stairs, on my way to drop the last diaper in the washing machine before I run it. Detergent, push, spin the dial, pull, wash hands, step through…

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Close To Me

Scene: Morning on Spring Break, time to go outside and play. I’m going through the complicated maneuver of putting on Julianna’s shoes with a growth on my back. Scene: 8:30 Mass on a Sunday morning. We’re sitting in the front pew–taking up the whole front pew– and it’s time to kneel down. Only I can’t.…

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