In Defense of Uncertainty

In my mid-twenties, I once changed addresses twelve times in twelve months. That time between college and real life is a time of transition. I hated being unsettled. In flux. I often say I am the type A of type As, and that level of uncertainty was really tough. But I’ve been thinking about uncertainty…

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Adulting Is Kicking My Butt

Normally, I’d say I do pretty well at “adulting.” Let’s be honest, I was probably more adult at twelve than some people are at twenty. But adulting is really kicking my butt right now. Last week, midweek, I had a really black moment. My oldest was mad at me–mad in a way every parent is…

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Random Observations of a Writer On the Reality of Living Through the Coronavirus Shutdown

It’s been a week since the kids came home from school for the foreseeable future, and today is day 2 of an official “stay at home order” where I live–though we can still go hiking (and we intend to continue doing so as long as we’re permitted, weather permitting—which it hasn’t done much of lately).…

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What I Learned About Myself While Traveling

I learned something about myself in traveling these past two weeks. When I’m in charge of travel, I’m susceptible to some pretty strong anxiety. I like traveling. I like experiencing the world, seeing new places. I like it a lot, in fact. But until last weekend, I didn’t realize how stressful I would find it…

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Anxiety 2.0

Years ago, when I was in my first bout of full-blown anxiety, Christian passed on to me a book he’d been given called Telling Yourself the Truth. The point of it was that the words we use in describing to ourselves our reality have the power to shape our emotional state for good for for…

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Learning To Deal

One of the blessings prayed over the couple at a Catholic wedding says, “May the cares of life never cause you undue anxiety.” I had to chuckle at a presider who recently flubbed it up, saying, “May the cares of life never cease to cause you undue anxiety.” I have had at least three bouts…

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An Old Nemesis Pokes Its Head Up

I’ve been wrestling anxiety the last few days. The trigger is less important than the fact that it’s happening at all. One thing about juggling a writing career and four kids (and special needs advocacy, and NFP teaching, and choir leadership) is that there’s really not time for the kind of self-indulgent obsessing that leads…

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What We Fear

Photo credit: LWPrencipe, via Flickr I’m beginning to think I take the easy way out in blogging. It’s more comfortable to share about experiences past and conflicts resolved, but the truth is, there is much in my life, as in yours, that is deeply broken and flawed and causes pain. But it’s raw to touch…

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A History of Anxiety: Conclusion

  Part 1: Origins Part 2: The Onset of Freaking Out Part 3: Engagement I was pretty low-key about graduating with my master of music degree. I knew that now, I was going home to dive into the last three months’ worth of wedding preparations. And that was a much, much bigger deal than a…

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A History of Anxiety, Part 3: Engagement

Part 1: Origins Part 2: The Onset of Freaking Out I was on cloud nine when I returned to Iowa for my second year of grad school. Early that September, as I sat with eating lunch with music geek friends in between wind ensemble rehearsal and an afternoon homage to the practice room, I realized…

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