Whenever somebody talks about sex, ears perk up and strong reactions—both positive and negative—ensue. For a long time, I saw that as a sign that there was something fundamentally wrong with humanity, something inherently sinful. But I’ve come to realize that I had it backwards. We have this reaction because there is something fundamentally right with us.…
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Why Do Women Do It? Vanity Fair’s Article on The Hookup Culture
This article, “Tinder And the Dawn of the Dating Apocalypse,” was shared on my Facebook feed last night. I’ve heard about the hookup culture, but this lengthy and detailed look at it was truly nauseating. I’m going to let it speak for itself today and offer the combox for thoughts and discussion, if others feel so inclined.…
Read MoreConsent is NOT Sexy
“Consent Is Sexy.” That’s what the t shirt said. And clearly, the woman wearing thought it was a good slogan. I do not. First of all, I have to preface my comments by saying: I get it. The state of relations between men and women sucks. The way we talk to each other sucks. The way…
Read MoreBirth Control Really Isn’t Health Care In The First Place
It is no secret to anyone who reads this blog that I am a not a fan of birth control. I think it’s unconscionable that women have been expected to suppress or perhaps even damage a healthy, normal part of who they are in the interest of unrestricted sex. Contraception has led to an expectation…
Read MoreBig Boys, crazy hair, and sex ed (a 7QT post)
___1___ We had a friend over for dinner last weekend, and as we were asking her about her studies and her plans for the future, Alex sat across from her shaking his head. “This is why I don’t want to grow up,” he said. “There’s too much work.” ___2___ This reminds me of what I…
Read MoreChild Abuse, Part 2: Personal Defense
A commenter once took issue with a post I wrote about parents’ responsibility to arm their children against the threat of child abuse by teaching children about their dignity as human beings, and in particular the dignity of the human body. This person took issue with the idea that such concepts can provide any protection against predators.…
Read MoreChild Abuse in the Church: A Parent’s Response, Part 1
When I was twelve years old, a teenage kid working the ticket booth at the movie theater told me I could pass for seventeen. I developed early and I had the curves to attract attention. But although I may have looked older than some of my peers, emotionally I was far behind them. I was…
Read MoreSex, Love, and Women’s Fiction
I’ve been reading a lot of women’s fiction lately, and reading it with a more critical eye than is usual for me. As I contemplate the novel query stage, I’m analyzing how my book fits into what’s already out there. There’s a lot of really good writing out there: great character depth and engrossing storytelling.…
Read MoreWhen You Are Raising A Daughter With Special Needs (or: Borrowing Trouble)
It must have been the convergence of James Bond with a bedtime call from my sister, announcing the birth of her first baby, a girl. Maybe it was superimposing the image of her baby upon my own baby girl, no longer a baby, upon the image of the Bond girl, once victim of the sex…
Read MoreFirst Grade Sex Ed
I learned more about my son’s first grade class in ten minutes on the highway than I’ve learned all year at the dinner table. We were returning from picking up a friend for an overnight. As my crowded van sped down the highway, the boys started discussing school. “Do you remember (X) doing his freak-out…
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Kathleen M. Basi 