Openings

Openings.

 

Why do they have to be sooooooooooooooooooo hard?

 

Since the beginning of November, I have probably put in six hours on the opening five pages of my novel. Actually, that doesn’t sound like much, now that I think of it. Maybe it just seems endless. Knowing there’s a problem. Trying to back up and get perspective to identify what it is. Take a few days. Email it to some people. Wait for feedback. Fiddle some more. Email it to somebody else. Wait for feedback. Identify the problem. Search for a solution. Solution eludes.

 

I think I got it now, finally. I needed fresh eyes—someone who hadn’t read the novel, who didn’t know the characters, the plot or subplots, someone who could just react. That someone was Christian. He told me it not the best thing I’ve ever written. (Ouch.)

 

It’s easier to take criticism from a critique group. However, last night’s discussion was what finally led to a workable solution…at least, what I think is a workable solution. (At the moment I’m so tired, both from lack of sleep and tired of fighting with this opening, that I don’t really trust my judgment.) And I am also proud to say that I didn’t get defensive and start arguing with him. I actually managed to take it!

 

And there are openings of another kind…much more pleasant, though just as exhausting.

 

We went for our twenty-(one)-week ultrasound this morning. No, we did not find out gender, and don’t bother asking about names, either—we don’t have them picked, and wouldn’t share if we did. J We took the whole family. As we sat in the waiting room, Baby was kicking away, and Alex asked to touch the baby. I pulled my shirt up so he could just feel my belly through my sweats, and our obliging little one gave Alex a dead-on kick the hand—the hardest one of the day. Alex was all giggly about it.

 

Baby was also not particularly keen on getting squashed by the ultrasound wand. There were definitely some protest kicks going on there. This baby is quite active. I’ve not yet needed to sit down and count kicks, which makes this pregnancy far more like Alex’s than Julianna’s. I think it may even be more active than Alex was!

 

The whole concept of unborn baby is still way over Julianna’s head, but Alex was dancing with excitement as his daddy pointed out feet and hands and head on the screen. It’s fun to have a child old enough to understand. That may be our last portrait session before pregnancy ends. If so, it’ll be a long wait. But the weeks themselves pass quickly. I can tell that I’m getting close to the time when I can no longer lie on my back, when I can’t hug anyone properly, and so on.

 

Well, the kids are asleep and I’m almost asleep at the computer, so perhaps I should call it a day.