There are still two doors left to open on our Advent calendar, but we’re winding down now, so I feel safe giving a final report on our Advent project.
Last week was a little chaotic. The weather and illness at Christian’s office necessitated some rearranging of the contents of the boxes. We had to move up the finding of the tree, and move back the viewing of lights. This is the advantage to having two or three Biggies in a week and filling in the rest with homebody projects like wrapping gifts and reading Christmas books.
It was a big weekend. Friday night we drove all over town looking at people’s Christmas lights. At the start of the day, we didn’t know where to look, and we were afraid we wouldn’t find much. But we did. I need to note the best neighborhoods, for next year.
Saturday we had some of our choir members over for a party and caroling in our neighborhood. Originally, I had envisioned this as our family’s service to the elderly (nursing home, hospital…), but Christian wanted no part of that; he wanted to do the neighborhood. Inviting the choir was his idea. We argued a little in the planning stages, but I gave way, if only because my concept of a family band just isn’t realistic yet. And Christian pointed out that we don’t know who in our neighborhood is in pain, lonely, and in need of cheering, and besides, everybody goes to the nursing homes at this time of year.
It turned out beautifully, despite the agony of my loosening hip joints, the exhaustion of getting the house ready for company, and the bitter north wind. Alex and his buddy Evan thought they had the best job in the world—handing out candy canes. We only sang at half a dozen houses—a ton of people weren’t home, and we just got too cold (it was single digits that night, plus wind chill). But at every house they looked surprised and touched. Once, Alex led “Frosty the Snowman” at the top of his lungs. The lady of the house was so impressed that she went and pulled out a cute 18-inch snowman and gave it to him. When we returned home, it was with the feeling that we had truly done something special.
Sunday we let the kids sleep an extra hour, because the Activity of the Day was decorating the church, which didn’t begin until naptime. We packed lunches and sat in the parish hall after Mass until the head of the committee came in and put us to work an hour and a half ahead of the start time. Alex got to help put up the small nativity scene (OK, so I broke Joseph’s hand off, but we got it glued back on, leave me alone!), place votives in the little cross alcoves all along the walls of the hall, and decorate trees in the gathering space. Julianna spent her time crawling into wreath boxes and snarling the beads hopelessly. She didn’t help anyone, but she had a marvelous time.
After those three days—the peak of activity for this season—we needed a break. Tonight was Family Movie Night. We watched Prancer, and waived the house rule prohibiting food and drink outside the kitchen. We spread a blanket on the floor and had popcorn and hot cocoa for dinner in our pajamas. Ah, bliss.
Of course, let’s not romanticize. Julianna is divinely uninterested in television. She wanted to dig through the popcorn bowl and hurl it every which way, crush it in her hands so that it would all fit in her mouth at once, and try to pirate Daddy’s hot cocoa. Then she went to the computer to see if she could rewrite my blog, and before the movie was over she’d left a lovely gift in her diaper. But except for that last, watching her was more enchanting than the movie. And Alex, who watches movies with fierce concentration and sublime lack of fear, was in tears because he didn’t know what was going to happen to Jessie and Prancer.
As I write, on the evening of the 22nd of December, I am more excited about Christmas—the total package, the secular and the spiritual—than ever before. In the next few weeks I’ll try to put up the whole thing on its own dedicated page. This project has been such a positive experience that I’m going to try to write it up as an article for one of the Catholic parenting magazines. (It has more universal appeal than that, but I don’t think non-Catholics are as into the “Advent” idea as we are.)
What I have learned:
- Cookies take three days, not two.
- The simple act of pulling a slip of paper out of a cubby renders whatever is on the paper The Coolest Thing Ever To Do Today. We had zero failures. Alex loved them all.
- DON’T do cookies and making Christmas ornaments in the same week.
- The manger is a SPECTACULAR motivator for good behavior. At least at the age of three.
- Planning makes all the difference in the world. It transforms a crazed, frantic set of “gotta-do”’s into a delightful series of games. That’s not to say that it was without stress. I had two bad days, where my body was trembling with exhaustion and I still had hours of work ahead of me. But it was only two, and that helped me identify which tasks need to be spread out better.
- I do have it in me to become like a child again, in my capacity for delight and anticipation. As jaded as I have become about the Christmas season, that is, perhaps, the most precious gift of all.
Kathleen M. Basi 