Today’s excerpt, a description, comes from my WIP, the story of a woman who marries into a fairy tale, only to have it splinter around her. This scene comes from the opening of the novel, as she is discovering the beauty of her new home.
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Outside, the morning hummed with energy. Nicole tucked her hands into her armpits to guard against the morning chill. She stepped onto the flagstone path that wound westward through the rose garden toward the front of the house, the wide lawn where JAZZ vineyards held its private parties sloping away to her right, down to the dusty green mane of forested hills.
She rounded the corner and caught her breath. Here on the western façade of the house, she stood in shadow, looking down over a heavy blanket of fog. Somewhere beneath the undulating whiteness lay endless rows of vines, their leaves unfolding into the coming summer. She leaned on the stone retaining wall and exhaled softly. She knew foggy days in the valley, but it had never occurred to her how beautiful sunrise on the ridges might be. She sat upon an island of emerald amid a sea of fluffy white. The silence, surpassing anything she had ever experienced, hummed around her, a silence so complete that it seemed sentient. She was sure if she closed her eyes and reached out, she would touch the hand of God.
(Photo credit: ah zut, via Flickr)
Kathleen M. Basi 
I felt the chilliness and beauty of this scene. 🙂
Wow. I came by earlier (EST) and this wasn’t up yet. I’m pleased I returned. I loved how you described this scene. It was very real. I thought these words, “dusty green mane of forested hills..” were fantastic writing. I also liked “She sat upon an island of emerald amid a sea of fluffy white.” Those lines are vivid with imagery to me. I felt like you captured everything Galit asked for:~) Thanks for sharing this!
I’m so glad you tried again! I don’t know why it wasn’t up…that is very strange.
So very rich and descriptive! And can i just say how much I love getting a glimpse into your WIP here! Go you!
Very, very lovely. I could definitely see what she saw.
One small thing: you use the word “hummed” twice.
Looking forward to seeing more of this work!
Ah, well spotted! I had to read it twice more to find it myself. Thanks!
This is a beautiful image: “Somewhere beneath the undulating whiteness lay endless rows of vines, their leaves unfolding into the coming summer.”
Right here, you capture the whole spirit of your piece. Lovely.
I love the tranquility in your piece . This feels like a sanctuary where one can go to for restoration and rejuvenation of the spirit .
… “island of emerald amid a sea of fluffy white” just did it for me – such a vivid description .
Yeah, I’m in the “island of emerald amid a sea of fluffy white” crowd to. It sounds so peaceful. I really really want to go here. I hope to see more tidbits from your WIP. It’s got such a lovely start.
Beautiful imagery, Kate. You definitely need to do more fiction!