Update/weekend

For those following the saga of Michael’s birth, whe is still in the nICU on oxygen. He is no longer under the “hood,” but on a cannnula. I got to nurse him last night at 5–absolutely Heavenly, for him and for me both. He was so calm, his breathing so regular and his saturation so good. I wanted to snip and snap at the people who had been keeping us apart for nearly two days. It seemed perfectly obvious to me that all he really needee was Mommy.
However, I had to push it at 8 because his breathing had speeded up again, and I had to promise I just wanted to try. Again, it calmed him down. But at 11 he was breathing 1– times a minute and even I knew I couldn’t win that argument. So I had to pump all night again. Praying and praying that he will be better this morning. I sat with him at 5 a.. and he so desperately wanted to nurse. Rototing like mad, crying, unhappy, his entire body language screaming “hungry! Want Mommy!” And I had what he wanted–he could smell it–and I wasn’t allowed to give it to him. I have never felt so helpess. So completely without ability to comfort my own child.
I am sure this post is chock full of typos, because of the ipad. I know there are many ppl who think I’m being a Luddite about these iPhones and ipads and yada yada, but to give you an idea of what I’m having to put up with in using this thing, I’m typing this post watching the cursor move across a white screen, leaving abstolutely nothing in its wake. That’s why I haven’t been posting long detailed summaries. 🙂