I don’t understand….

I don’t understand Madonna. Several decades ago, when my grandparents lived in Detroit, they were friends with the Ciccone family. Knowing my grandfather, I feel sure that their family had to be fairly similar to his, in terms of behavioral expectations, habits and so on. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have associated with them. What I don’t understand is, if Madonna’s dad was AT ALL like my grandpa, how can/could she say and do some of the things she does/did, and still look her dad in the eye?

 

I don’t understand Aretha. The worst singer in the world doesn’t need a breath after “My coun…” And WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT BOW???? Surely even Aretha has someone who’s honest with her and said, “Honey, that thing looks RIDICULOUS.”

 

I don’t understand SUVs. Why would you choose to drive a top-heavy, clunky thing that gets horrible gas mileage and seats 5 people when you could drive a van, which maneuvers like a car, has better gas mileage, seats 7 and costs quite a bit less?

 

I don’t understand why anyone would actually buy any pharmaceutical drugs, after seeing the ads on TV—you know, the ones where the list of side effects, including DEATH, takes 2/3 of the commercial?

 

I don’t understand how anyone can be a Democrat.

 

I don’t understand how anyone can be a Republican.

 

I don’t understand how people can turn off their intelligence and reason entirely, and accept the redefinition of “conception” to mean “implantation” for the sake of avoiding inconvenient truths.

 

I don’t understand why the entire country has been slammed with precip this winter, except in Columbia, Missouri.

 

I don’t understand how I can lie awake for two and a half hours in the middle of the night, when my whole body is crying out for sleep.

 

I don’t understand how it is possible that Christian taking my hand is enough to put me to sleep almost instantaneously, after lying awake for two and a half hours. (Not that I’m complaining. What a guy I married!)