After Alex’s recent backsliding on the toilet issue, we decided it was time to take another stab at nighttime training. Only this time, I’m determined to keep things positive.
Alex sleeps so soundly that he’s not aware of his nerves telling him he needs to go to the bathroom. So I’m getting him up to use the toilet whenever I do, the idea being that perhaps we can train his body into waking. It’s worth a try, anyway. The first night was a bust, but the rest of the week he’s done well. I wake him up gently by whispering to him as I pull his feet off the bed, and I help him balance on his way into the bathroom. No battles, no angst. In two minutes he’s back in bed.
Notice that “we” decided, but it’s me on night duty. I’ve said before that Christian sleeps too soundly and doesn’t hear the kids. (Hmmm….wonder where Alex gets it?) That’s not 100% true—he’s done Julianna duty this week. But as a rule, he doesn’t wake up, and if he does, he’s too groggy to remember to take care of Alex.
Last night, when we were ready to go to bed, I sent Christian in to put Alex on the toilet while I did PT exercises. “Do it gently,” I warned him. “You don’t need to be severe, he’s doing just fine.”
“Okay,” said Christian.
Within four minutes all the lights were on and Alex was crying.
Alex did not use the toilet.
I sighed, got up off the floor and went to put him back to bed. And it occurred to me that perhaps there’s a reason why I have night duty. We each have our strengths. For instance: Christian is meticulous in bookkeeping, and can’t understand why I have to look things up and make calculations every time he asks where I am in my budget; he has that information on file in his brain at all times. That’s his strength, and my weakness. Maybe night duty falls unequally on my shoulders because I’m simply better at it than he is. I may not care for that particular “charism,” but so it goes. In our complementary charisms lies the strength of our marriage.
Kathleen M. Basi 