A few weeks ago, we gave Alex the opportunity to earn an expensive new Buzz Lightyear toy. Well, on Monday morning last week, he finished his chart by vacuuming four rooms upstairs, and that evening we went to the store to purchase Buzz. He had twenty-three dollars in cash in his billfold ($13 of which he earned—the other ten were bonus bucks from his grandparents).
We parked and ran through the cold evening air into the brightness of Target. “What if somebody already bought it?” Alex worried.
But there sat Buzz on the shelf: the kind of expensive, loud, annoying battery-operated toy I find so heartily objectionable. Alex did a little dance as I picked him up off the shelf. “Okay, Alex, where’s your billford?” I asked.
He froze, then looked up at me sheepishly. “It’s in the van.”
“Oh, for crying out loud!” I put Buzz back on the shelf. “Well, we’re going to have to go get him,” I said. The whole point of the exercise was for Alex to hand the cash to the clerk—to have the tactile experience of trading money he earned for something he wanted.
As we ran through Target, back into the frigid darkness, back to the van, Alex wailed, “But what if somebody else takes Buzz before we get back?”
“I really don’t think anybody’s going to take him while we run back to the van,” I said, although I had backup plans in place just in case.
“But I saw another little boy in the store!”
“Well then, you’d better hurry!” I said.
He scrambled into the back seat, pulled out his wallet, and we started over.
And when we got back to the toy aisle…are you ready for this?
BUZZ WAS GONE.
Thank God for backup plans. A: go find an employee and have them check for more in the stockroom. (No.) B: go to Toys R Us, with the understanding that if the toy was significantly more expensive than at Target, we would C: go home and order it online (which was what Christian wanted to do in the first place, as it was several dollars cheaper that way).
We ended up with plan C:
And on Saturday, Buzz arrived.
Success of the program? Well, I’m not so sure. Now he’s telling me all the things he wants his friends to bring for his birthday and all the things he wants Santa to bring next Christmas. So did this really work for me? I think the jury is still out on that one. But I can tell you this: as of now, there’s a serious crackdown on new stuff for Alex. As parents, we want to make our children happy; we love to see them excited. And then we get out of control, giving them things that make them excited for a few minutes (or days or weeks), but in the long run, it is like an addiction: the more they have, the more they want. It’s time for Alex to have some unfulfilled desires.
Kathleen M. Basi 
That’s funny! We have a similar story…the kids have saved up money from birthdays, holidays, etc. and wanted to spend it. So we went to the store with only that purpose. After an hour (I kid you not) of deliberation, pricing, etc we settled on our purchases and went to the counter. I asked Andrew to hand the cashier his money and he didn’t have it. He set it down in the toy aisle somewhere! (Stupid me for letting him carry it). Well, luckily we found it after some scouring. And he said, “That’s good that we found it ’cause I was about to cry.”
I was JUST debating allowance issues this morning. My son has a $2 a week allowance for contributing to the daily running of the household. He is very logical and deliberate and usually thinks of something he wants, saves until he knows he’ll have a little leftover, and then buys it. I know when my husband was little, his parents made him give some to charity and put some into a long-term “savings account.” My son is six and a half and I wonder if we should start something like that now… Will he learn from it if we force him to do that? Right now he learns from his own mistakes because he can do what he wants with it. Ah, parenting.
I also wonder about the allowance issue…we never got one growing up. It was simply expected that we help with the household because we were part of it. But lately I’ve been feeling like maybe it could be a good way to teach kids about taking care of the house and the value of money and saving/spending wisely, etc.
I know. It’s tricky. I never had an allowance growing up, so when I started earning money babysitting I freaked out and horded it in my closet. My parents about died when they realized I had several hundred dollars tucked away in my closet. I like that my son’s learning how to feel comfortable with spending money (when he makes good choices) and how to learn from his mistakes and not be consumed by regret if he messes up. A lot less at stake when you’re only 6.
actually, it seems like it was sort of good the toy wasn’t at the store. it might make him think twice next time and remember his money. (wishful thinking, lol)
i’m sort of torn on the whole allowance, work for money at home thing… chores are just a part of family life and i haven’t decided if allowances for that reason are the best. but… i’ve got a little bit to decide. 🙂
Melissa
I’m torn on the allowance issue, as well. We never got one when I was a kid. Eventually I got paid $5 a week to make dinner, but that was different; it was a job, specific to me, and nobody else got anything like it. Well–my older sister did it, and when she turned 16 and went to work at Country Kitchen, then I got the job. Anyway.
We haven’t made a decision @ allowance yet. Frankly, I don’t think he needs it right now. When he gets gifts, we make him give some and save some, and once in a while we let him go get stickers or something. But basically, everything he needs we get for him; what use has he for a regular income, at the age of not-quite-5?
His first “chores” are simply to brush his teeth, make hs bed and get dressed. Sometimes I have him fold & put away his own clothes; he’s now been given the job of clearing the dinner table. But those are normal, non-paid jobs. Vacuuming, floor sweeping, that kind of stuff–something beyond what is reasonable to expect a 5yo to do as part of his daily life–that’s what we “paid” him for.
That’s kind of the approach we use, Kate. When I say he gets an allowance for being a contributor, the money isn’t directly linked to chores. He has a reward chart where he gets stickers if he does things like clear the table and feed the dog – and that isn’t tied to money. We explained that the allowance is because he is a “contributing member,” meaning if Mom and Dad need his help getting something done, he helps. Basically it’s like ‘We’re all in this together and being given the responsibility of having an allowance is part of that.’ We’ve never threatened taking it away for not doing something, we just sometimes remind him what it means to be a “contributing member.”
He looks so happy to have his new buzz! Great story.