Since the night of Dec. 27-28, there has been someone sick in our house constantly. For five days in a row I was up an average of 6 times a night consoling, caring for at least one child, so it’s no surprise that I’ve finally succumbed myself. (This feels like an echo. Have I written this before?)
The really irritating part is that as soon as you get sick, community evaporates. My parents, my in-laws, my entire real-time support network (virtual community is a separate matter), everyone puts up their hands and says, “Thanks, I’ll just stay away, and don’t you dare get me sick too!” And while I understand this, I also can’t help thinking that it seems not right somehow that when a family most needs help, that’s when nobody wants to be around them.
So today, despite feeling that I should be in bed asleep (like Alex), or sitting still doing something low-key that distracts me from the nastiness in my stomach (like Julianna), I will instead be taking care of everyone else, who believe they have a right to be my first priority.
Is this the way it’s always been? Or did people used to help sick families despite the risk to their own health?
Kathleen M. Basi 
First of all, I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of this again.
I’ve been working for almost a year on being thankful for the fact that my current state in life involves not having children, and it is easiest on days when I am sick. I think “ugh, I can’t imagine feeling like this and having to take care of small children!” So while I obviously don’t really appreciate your pain, I sort of do in the ahhhhh-that-must-be-one-of-the-most-horrible-things sort of way. 🙂
I think it makes sense for the genuinely elderly (I don’t know how old your parents/in-laws etc. are) and vulnerable to stay away, since what might be a few days of sickness for a healthy person could last for weeks and bring them to the hospital. But otherwise, it just seems selfish.
My guess is that this sort of isolation (while maintaining a general love and support) is only possible because we all live in our separate houses with our separate cars and send the men off to their separate jobs and keep the women in their separate houses. Sometimes community has to be a little forced for it to last through these things.
I’m cynical enough that I’d probably take modern medicine over the forced community of “the good old days.” But I’m guessing that right now you’d trade all the flu medication in the world for a nice long nap while someone you trusted took care of your children. I’m sorry that you don’t have that now.
Um so my comment was longer than your post. I’m sorry!
As irritating as it is, I suspect this is the way things have always been. Honestly, I can’t say I blame people. Everyone is in the same boat…sickness in the family means work and school days missed, not to mention the misery that comes with the illness. When I was pregnant with James, we had a nasty stomach bug in our house and I was shocked when one of my daughter’s friend’s mothers offered to let Sarah (who’d already been sick) come over to play. I guess I expected people to treat us all as lepers until the virus was completely gone. Then when she dropped Sarah back off at home, she brought gatorade, applesauce, and saltines. It was a very kind gesture and very unexpected.
Last January/February for 6 weeks straight (no joke or exaggeration) someone was sick or multiple people were sick. From flu-like, to stomach bug, to icky snotty coughing crap. It was miserable! And not only wouldn’t my parents help but my poor husband is worse than the kids when he is sick. Hang in there Kate!
Where is Christian? Can he stay home to help you out? Can I bring you anything? How about dinner?
Or maybe no one is eating dinner…I guess I didn’t think of that
Some of us are eating (not me, at the moment, but everyone else is eating), and the kids have absolutely loathed everything I’ve made this week, so if you want to provide some alternative for them tonight, I would not say no!!!
Has it always been that way? When I consider leper colonies, quarantines, and sanitoriums, I think folks have been “avoiding each other like the Plague” for centuries.
Fortunately, most of the major diseases have been eradicated or controlled by meds, but the fear of getting sick is instinctively stronger than a desire to nurse.
There are always a few beautiful exceptions where people are willing to sacrifice their own health to help others; mothers and doctors understand the calling.
I know how difficult it is to suffer with flu-symptoms (or even a bad cold that leaves you groggy and exhausted) … when little kids are running rampant through the house, hyper with freshly brewed health.
My house was utterly destroyed while I lay on the couch, drugged with medicine, for two days.
I managed to feed them, and tend to their basic needs, but the vaccum wasn’t touched. Neither was the laundry.
Piles of toys and clothes were everywhere… and my dearest husband donned his floatation device, and waded obliviously through it all….
This too shall pass. Take care of your health as best as you can, and put your blinders on. 😉
Ok when I read your comment I missed the word “not”. So I thought you said no. Until just now when I Reread it. So obviously I missed dinner tonight. What about tomorrow? Anything I can do to help out?