Hope you’ll enjoy hearing a bit more about Alison and Carlo….
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(Photo credit: KennethMoyle, via Flickr)
Eight o’clock has always been the magic hour. Well…always, in that nebulous way that something done once becomes “the way we’ve always done it.” In those years when Jeremy was young enough to go to bed early, but old enough to stay there for the night, eight was the hour when the night became theirs.
Carlo excavates his memory for the contours of those evenings. Candles, blankets on the floor, and the soft strains of Liszt are what he unearths, but somehow he’s sure that’s not the right tableau for this evening, an evening of new beginnings. No, he has to start simpler. Popcorn, with butter. Hot cocoa, with cinnamon sticks. A lighthearted romantic comedy. And blankets to snuggle beneath on the couch.
As the popcorn snaps in the otherwise silent house, he expects Alison to come see what’s stirring. But the bedroom door remains closed, the scene beyond hidden and still.
At last, all is ready. He hesitates, his stomach curling. After twenty-five years, the idea of wooing his wife feels disconcertingly risky. He picks up the mugs and treads the hallway, pausing before his bedroom door. He breathes a wordless prayer, takes a deep breath, and knocks.


WOW! This made me almost tear up, it was so sweet and genuine…I loved your choice of words. Fantastic job with this prompt!
This line — the idea of wooing his wife feels disconcertingly risky. Is perfect drew me right into his emotion
This is a wonderful love story. I loved how you used your language in this story to maximize my senses — the change from candles and soft strains of Liszt to popcorn and hot cocoa.
I felt the yearning of this character to woo his wife. I love how you used the eight o’clock time to both evoke the past and the hope for the future. Well written. I enjoyed this:~)
🙂 great !!!
LOVE THIS!!!! I like how Carlos “excavates” for memories, that’s lovely imagery. And Carlos’ vulnerability makes him so endearing. Great job!
Thank you all! This was a fun one, and very quick to write…did it in the waiting room at the OB’s office yesterday. 🙂
Thumbs up!! I enjoyed reading this.
What an endearing man! So sweet. I love how vulnerable you made him. We don’t often get to see that side of men, which is too bad.
I love that word, “endearing”…because he has reason to feel that he’s taking a risk. He’s always been one of my favorite characters I’ve created, but I’ve always known this character in a later incarnation, when he was through all his dark valleys and had reached a state of calm kindness. I’m a little nervous about showing him on the road there!
The anticipation and subtle anxiety was well played. Fantastic!
Absolutely LOVE this! You set the scene perfectly with smells and desires. The ending is perfection and the mystery of what’s going on behind that door? Deliciously enticing! Love!
Life is so short.
This is beautiful and unexpected. Thank you!
Okay, you really know how to catch a reader’s attention! I’m dying to know how his wife reacts when he opens the door!
awesome! I DID tear up and I’m scared for him that he won’t get the response he wants.