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I wrote yesterday about teaching a holistic, healthy sexuality to our children. I’d love to have more perspectives from parents of older kids. Hint, hint. 🙂
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As long as I’m asking for advice, I have a sleep question. Michael is now four months old, and he’s having a lot of trouble sleeping during the day. He’s actually slept through the night a few times (gasp! I didn’t know babies did that!) but it’s kind of frustrating during the day. I nurse him to sleep, put him down, he wakes up. Rinse & repeat. Very tiresome, frankly. With the other kids, schedules and nice long naps seemed connected to the “learn to put yourself to sleep” stage–i.e., the let them cry stage. But I’ve never done that until they were at least nine months old–into the object permanence stage. I’m really hesitant to do that with Michael so early. But he’s got to sleep longer than five minutes in a shot!
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I know the first piece of advice is going to be sling/snugli. I did pull out the Snugli last night so I could go outside with my family and enjoy the evening. But a) he didn’t sleep, and b) while I can walk behind my kids with a baby slung across my front, I cannot bend down, throw baseballs, help kids learn to bat and pedal tricycles. So I’m really in a quandary, seeking solutions to the sleep issue. Because a baby who’s tired doesn’t do well with tummy time and learning to play with toys, and so on.
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This week I served as adjudicator for our diocesan music enrichment day. I went into it with a fair amount of nerves. Partly that was because the logistics were so complicated. We had to figure out how to get Alex to his Harry Potter spring break theater camp, which began at the same time I had to be on site in a town half an hour away. And I couldn’t keep the baby with me, because the schedule was so compact. So I had to bring the sitter with me, and figure out how to keep the kids safe and entertained with a sitter. Very complex logistically. I kept having visions of Julianna running off while Michael was inconsolable. Fortunately, like most fears these proved unfounded.
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The other nerves came from the fact that the very first ensemble I critiqued was my gradeschool alma mater, led by my high school band director. However, it proved to be very enjoyable, and a nice chance to catch up with a teacher who had a big influence on me, but whom I haven’t seen in a long time. All in all, it was an experience both energizing and exhausting.
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I have a short fiction work up today. Wondering if it works; I’ve been trying to write this scenario for several years and I still don’t think I’ve nailed it.
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I’m coming up with nothing but boring stuff now, so…have a great weekend!
Kathleen M. Basi 
My youngest, number 5, also wouldn’t sleep well during the day. We are talking 20 minutes max from about two months to six months. But he was a great nightime sleeper, usually 7pm to 8am. Around six months his schedule changed and with white noise he would stay asleep during the day, but he started waking at night two or three times. I know this doesn’t help much.
For the big TALK, we used the God’s Design for Sex series. You can get them at Rainbow Resources. We only use the first two or three because the later books get into STDs and self pleasure. We just had the TALK with my oldest, who’ll be ten next month. It went well, but he is a major reader and so I am wondering if he had gotten some of it before. Good Luck!
I had a baby who slept through the night very early (as opposed to the other children who couldn’t figure out day time or night time sleeping until well over a year old…grrr), and I found his day time sleep to be erratic in the extreme. I heard a pediatrician say that kids who sleep well at night tend to be poor nappers because they are getting more of their daily sleep at night (which stands to reason). I’d say, don’t sweat it unless he is so tired that he isn’t functional and is just crying all the time.
The other thing is that at 4-5 months babies are sensitive to light and begin to be aware of things like routines (which I’m sure you know as a veteran mom), but perhaps you might try having him nap in a dark room, or swaddling him in a dim place (covered stroller, perhaps) and see if that helps? Just thinking out loud–I really don’t know anything. My kids don’t sleep until we are ready to sell them.
That’s an interesting thought, about the day/night thing. It has been brighter in his room lately….we’ve been keeping the windows open. I’ll try that. Love your final comment–been there! LOL
Michael is ADORABLE! How do you resist the urge to stare into that little face all day?! But I understand your frustration. You have other lives to tend to too.
As far as teaching kids about sexuality, it’s a tough road. How much information do you give them and when? We’ve been very open with our kids, taught them all the proper body part names from the beginning (although this did come back to bite us once), and had some intentional conversations explaining sex, but I wonder if they learn the most from our example. I know my parents were always willing to answer questions about sex, but I never felt comfortable asking. Our kids see us kiss and hug and snuggle up on the couch consistently. They say, “We know what it means when your bedroom door is closed.” I hope they are learning it is a healthy, beautiful element of a committed MARRIAGE relationship. Of course, we’ve stressed it, and whenever the occasion arises, we reiterate that message.
Pray, pray, pray. Be willing to push through the uncomfortable to get to the heart of the matter. Be honest. That’s my policy.
I love your take on this, and anyone who reads your blog can’t doubt that you have built a beautiful family.