The words caught me off guard Tuesday evening. “I hate being six years old!” Alex burst out, pouting over top of his markers and superhero-covered drawing paper.
I looked up from dinner preparations with exasperation and amusement. “Why’s that?” I asked.
“Because it’s SOo BORing!” (You all know that inflection, right?)
I shook my head and didn’t answer. After all, we’d only been home for three hours following a weekend of open pool, cousins, grandparents and new toys. Oh, yes, and no sleep. Of course he was grouchy. There’s always a letdown. I may not know what’s going on in my kiddos’ heads, but I do remember that much. I figured a good night’s sleep would cure all.
But it’s become his refrain the last two days. “I hate being six!” he roars as he does his newly-assigned evening chore (sweeping the floor after dinner). “Why do the little ones get such easy, short jobs? It’s not fair!”
“Is it fair that I’ve done all the cleaning up till now?” I said. He didn’t answer. Frankly, I’m not sure he heard.
He’s too focused on himself to realize that his siblings are also picking up new responsibilities. He might whine that they get short, easy jobs, but they’re jobs the little ones didn’t have at all a few months ago. Ah, the sublime self-centeredness of childhood.
There’s no way I can get through to that little sponge of a brain that this is life, and he might as well get used to it. I tell him that getting older gives you greater privileges as well as greater responsibilities, but he can’t see beyond how it feels to him. And to be honest, when I actually started listing the benefits, I realized they didn’t seem too impressive. He can go outside by himself. We let him go in the pool with his cousin without one of us having to be physically in the water with him. Computer games, I guess. But really, the benefits of him getting older are big to us. Reading to himself. Amusing himself. Getting himself ready for the day and ready for bed without help. Bathing himself. These are enormous…to Mom and Dad. To him? Euh.
My poor boy. He’s discovering one of those truths of life: growing up is a mixed blessing, fraught with troubles that seem, at times, to outweigh the benefits. If he’s very blessed, he’ll stumble into a career he loves so much that it doesn’t feel like work…like me and writing. But along the way, he’s bound to stumble into some responsibilities he’d never give up—little people of his own, cherished as much as his own life, but wrapped up in a package that includes a lot he’d rather not deal with, given the option. Which, of course, he won’t be given, because that’s not how it works.
I can’t explain this to him, because it’s a lesson that must be learned, just as I learned it and continue to learn as time goes on. Ah, the circle of life.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX07j9SDFcc]
9 Responses
Awww, I feel for your little guy. Very well-put post. And you’re right, a good night’s sleep does make all the difference!
We went through a similar phase with Lydia. She was completely jealous of her younger siblings (who were both under 2)… so I convinced her to “trade places” and become a baby for a day.
I wouldn’t let her fix snacks for herself ~ she had to eat whatever I fed her on a spoon. She drank milk from a sippy cup.
She couldn’t leave the gated “toddler play area”… she didn’t have access to her big-girl toys.
And since I didn’t want to put her in diapers again, she needed to tell me whenever she needed to use the bathroom: I would escort her there and back, like a prison guard. 😛
Surprisingly, it only lasted one afternoon. She was begging to “grow up” by suppertime. 😉
Kind of took me by surprise, here. My girls have always said such things because they want to be OLDER and have what they perceive as BETTER responsibilities and chores. My oldest does the kid laundry now and my 5-year-old says “that’s not fair!” because she wants that chore/responsibility, LOL. I love how different kids…sexes…whatever is the impetus for the difference, reveal themselves
My younger ones are the same way… they envy their oldest sister for her perceived freedom and grown-up responsibilities.
I think perhaps it depends on where they fall in the order of siblings. LOL
Both of your comments make me laugh. Thanks for sharing!
Oh, this sounds like my six year old, and he’s an only child! He doesn’t have other siblings to compare with but he still complains about he newly appointed chores. Such is human nature, I guess.
Ahhh, this sounds so familiar. Life’s lessons.
Around here we all say we want to be my youngest–she’s got it good, all these folks to dote on her, she cute, charming, smart and did I mention that she not only has parents but also teen sibs who read to her, play with her, take her places, and pass toys down to her. I want to come back as her, but she wishes she wasn’t the youngest….
Really good insight, Kathleen.
One day your little one will open his eyes and notice how tired you look, and notice, too, that you’re still smiling, then a little light will come on, and he’ll smile, too, with deeper love and greater appreciation that will last a lifetime.