It’s psychological, I’m sure of it.
I’m so insecure about this short story that I keep clicking from place to place on my desktop, trying to put off writing the blog post about how I’m procrastinating finishing it.
Am I blocked? No—the darned story was “finished” eighteen months ago. But we all know what “finished” means. It means, “I have written a beginning, a middle, and an end, and fleshed it out. And now I will commence tearing it to shreds and re-seaming until it disintegrates from wear.”
“The Third Day” is too long for the inspirational market, and neither I nor anyone I asked to look at it came up with a way to shorten it. So I decided to rework it for the literary/mainstream market. I went back in to smooth and flesh out the transitions, and in the process I added a thousand words. Then I took three days off and started at the beginning for one last revision—the one in which I polish word and phrasing choices.
And that was when the procrastination began.
I have no confidence in my ability to tell a story to the literary market. I second guess every word choice. (And triple- and quadruple- and quintuple- guess.) Is my tone too colloquial? Or do I sound like I’m trying too hard to break into the literary market? What about references to God? Will they doom my story to rejection in a mainstream/literary market? Is the point of the story too obvious for the literati?
I could not come up with satisfactory answers to these questions, so I decided that the story must need more time to stew. So I set it aside and worked on a retreat presentation. And I blogged. And Googled. And did blog visits. And Facebook. And email. And picture organizing. And (gasp!) flute practicing.
But eventually, I had to own up to the truth. I was procrastinating. So for the last ten days, I have been crawling through the 18-page manuscript, one painful paragraph at a time. I have never (and yes, I do think the italics are warranted) had so much difficulty finishing a manuscript. Have you ever spent half an hour working on one sentence?
This morning I “finished” the last seven pages in an hour…which should tell you that I have yet another painful revision headed my way. But I needed to send it to my critique partners in time for meeting on Sunday, so there you are.
And in the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that since I began writing this post, I have nursed, made three phone calls (but hey, they’re very important—I was calling legislators!) and played around on my blog. Clearly, I still have plenty of procrastination left in my bag of tricks.
Kathleen M. Basi 
Wow, anyone who calls legislators while breastfeeding scores points in my book! Haha!
I think all writers wrestle with procrastination, esp. when it’s a piece that seems to have bigger potential; you’re afraid to submit it bc then it’s up to someone else, not you.
A few weeks ago I submitted a 700-word essay I’d been working on for the better part of a year. (No joke.) I’d never stretched out a piece like that before, but I was afraid to submit it! And so, like you, I leaned on some support from others and finally bit the bullet. Now I’m anxiously awaiting feedback. The editors said it could take up to 3 months to respond, and it’s only been 21 long days so far.
But it was a huge relief to have submitted the piece and I know you’ll feel that way too, even if it’s scary to pitch this to the intimidating literary market.
Hang in there and keep your head up! Once you send it in, you’ll have a lot to celebrate.
Response times are brutal. I sent a book proposal out in Jan., and gave them till May 1 (which is longer than they said it would take). So far…nothing. Another week and it’ll be time to hit the books again and find out who accepts simultaneous book submissions. Blech!