(Warning: if you are squeamish about breastfeeding and related anatomy…DO.NOT.READ.) It began with the words, “Mommy can you s-nugga me?” “Of course I can snuggle you, Julianna. C’mere.” Julianna cuddled up under my arm as we settled in for bedtime prayers. The younger boys were being pokey, as usual. Julianna rested her head against me…
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On, In, Around
I’m sitting in the back of the van with the kids, watching Christian talk to his new wife up front. Out of nowhere, Nicholas glibly recites an entire line of some REM song with a lot of words, and I think, Uh-oh. I head forward and lean between the front seats to tell Christian we…
Read MoreBittersweet…till he brings me back to reality
In six days, Michael will be six months old. You know what that means: it’s time for the first meal. I was determined to make it all the way to six months on breast alone this time, but like his brothers, he had other ideas. Ideas that involve wailing if left on the floor during a…
Read MoreMoonglow
The world is black and white and silver beneath the full moon as I stumble down the hallway and retrieve a hungry boy from his crib. It’s been weeks now since we’ve needed to turn on the light to help us latch, so as we enter the room, the nursing chair waits in a mural…
Read MoreHave Breast, Will Travel
For the past seven years, my days have been defined by the routine care of children. Lacking day care, I haul them with me on errands or I don’t go at all. (Christian does a lot more lunchtime errand running now than he did in days past.) I have a semi-regular babysitter now to give…
Read MoreIn The Moment
When your voice rouses me from deep sleep, a hair shy of 4:30 in the morning, I can tell from the intensity of your anger that you’ve been trying to get my attention for several minutes. I went to bed worried about your cough and your lack of appetite, so your energy in protesting my…
Read MoreThe Milk Maid’s Postpartum Journey (a 7QT post)
(Men: I’m being pretty woman-frank today. Consider yourself warned.) ___1___ When I was pregnant with Alex, I was all about natural childbirth. I was one of those people that annoys the doctor by clarifying again and again and again that I DON’T want an epidural, I DON’T want forceps and episiotomy, and so on. Of…
Read MoreThe Scent of Heaven
“And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.“ Luke 2:19, NAB When I went into the hospital on November 30th, I gave myself permission to take it easy for a while. I was supposed to have a whole lot more done before that happened–a proposed table of contents for a new…
Read MoreI Guess It’s Postpartum Blues
The thing I’ve always valued about breastfeeding is that it is a symbiotic relationship. The well-being of baby depends upon mother, and the well-being of mother depends upon baby. We’re a partnership, and my motivation is high to keep us mutually healthy. I’ve been through difficult nursing times, but I have never faltered in my…
Read MoreTransition #4
I think I’ve been pretty clear that I am not a great housekeeper. Christian’s actually much better at it than I am. For the last ten days while I have languished in the land of pulsox, heart monitors and fluorescent lighting, he was home with the kids, along with people who came to help during…
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