On Friday morning, at the end of two weeks’ worth of puzzling and researching options for how to take this Write-at-home-mom gig mobile, I picked up a laptop from surplus to try out. I carried it around all morning, to Jazzercise and speech therapy and the copy shop and music-dropoff. I felt all grown up and professional, even though the computer has to be wiped before I can even access it, and the battery has to be replaced because it won’t run unless it’s plugged into the wall.
On Friday afternoon I finished redesigning my website. Further cause to feel all real-author-ish.
On Friday evening my husband looked at the site and went, “Meh.” And I went:
On Saturday morning, I went running at 6:30. I did not want to go. But I psyched myself up by thinking warm-glow thoughts. Thoughts like how close I am to finishing the novel revisions I undertook after I got the first-round critiques of the Rising Star contest. The fact that I’ve finished enough nonfiction deadlines to contemplate starting the next novel. (What a concept!)
On Saturday afternoon, I was certain that my book was terrible and I’m a complete fraud.
On Saturday evening, I went out with my husband to celebrate our anniversary. We had dinner and then did a photo shoot in the Governer’s Garden. He took 190 shots to see if we could come up with a new author photo. The shots with the flute came out. Those without? “Brooding,” he scolded me. “Smile!”
“Make me laugh,” I said.
“You have four kids,” he said deadpan, and for some reason I started giggling.
After Facebook made collages of us for our anniversary and we realized the only pictures it had to choose from were eighteenth-century dressup and family pictures, we decided we also needed pictures of ourselves. I’m in love with these pictures.
And now, a new week: back to drafting, editing/revising, website redesign 2.0, and technology obsession. But now you have to help me choose my professional photos.
Option 1: Chin-in-hand serious
Option 2: Chin-in-hand smile
Option 3: Looking Up
Option 4: Slightly blurry (but maybe I can fudge it for tiny online stuff?)