“When Do We Avocado?” and other things I Don’t Understand


It’s been quite a while since I did an edition of “Things I Don’t Understand” (see herehere, here and here for the others, if you’re really interested):



SleepytimePjs <em>Adult</em> Solid Red Fleece <em>Footed Pajama</em>Adult-sized footed pajamas. Really, people? What do you do when you need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night?


The fact that whatever item has been thrown on the floor by one child is prime real estate for another child to stand on while watching the TV/talking to mommy/trying to ruin my computer? I mean, they go out of their way to stand on things!


Speaking of computers…I don’t understand the baby’s fascination with the computer keyboard and mouse. It’s not like he can tell he’s doing anything.

Photo by brotherlywalks, via Flickr

And speaking of computers, why on earth would they make a command to turn the viewscreen sideways?

(Yes, my children did do this to me one time. I think it was Alex, actually.)

I mean, WHY?


I am also questioning, this year, why we bother putting up a crèche at all, if it’s going to be used exclusively as a chew toy/action figure set. Nor do I understand why my children think books are better folded backward. I’m sure we singlehandedly keep the packing tape industry healthy.


Nicholas jumping in the leavesI don’t understand about a third of what Nicholas says to me. Not that the words are unclear–they just don’t make any sense. Having spent 8 years around little kids now, I thought I was pretty good at casting about for word substitutions and intuiting true meaning behind seemingly random statements. But Nicholas frequently has me completely stymied. For instance: At breakfast, out of nowhere, he asks, “Mommy, what teacher?” What do you mean, ‘what teacher’? Or in the car, we’re having a perfectly rational discussion about the fire station and cars, and then suddenly he says, “But when do we avocado?”

Ahem. All right, on to other things….


You need a video of Julianna, right? Here’s a short one to show how her speech is progressing.

Julianna and Brown Bear


Update on the weight loss thing (I got so many comments last week, I know you all want to hear about it again! 🙂 )…Plateau problem is solved. (Warning! If you aren’t comfortable with the human body, quit reading and go watch Julianna again.) The problem was my cycle. Around the time of ovulation, I hold onto weight. I knew that, I just didn’t realize it was TWO POUNDS that were completely impervious to calorie reduction and thrice-weekly Jazzercise. I lost those 2 pounds overnight when I went into post-ovulation infertility (what we call Phase 3 in NFP lingo). As of midweek, I was sitting pretty at the top of my ideal weight range. I’ve set a new goal to drop 6 more pounds, which would put me pretty close to what I weighed when I graduated high school. I think that’s a good goal, don’t you? 🙂

7 quick takes sm1 7 Quick Takes Friday (vol. 200)

13 thoughts on ““When Do We Avocado?” and other things I Don’t Understand

  1. I’m really not sure what my almost-three-year-old is saying to me most of the time. He says it with gusto and inflection, but i have no idea.

    We are keeping the Scotch tape industry in business, and our creche includes action figures and has been half knocked over by the junk piled up around it. It makes me grateful I didn’t manage a wreath or Jesse tree this year.

  2. On man, I’m so with you on all these takes–and to that I add, why don’t children have a sense of personal space or protection of personal property (instead of destruction!!??) Sometimes I think we give presents for Christmas and birthdays just to replenish all the broken stuff from last year.

    P.S. We do the packing tape thing too.

    • Juliana, you know what I always wonder about destruction is this: surely children are universal in their destructive tendencies. But how do people who live in abject poverty keep their kids from tearing apart things they can’t afford to replace?

      • I wonder about that, too. My husband is astonished at children’s destructive tendencies and lack of respect for property and proper use of objects, and I, remembering a childhood performing weird science experiments in my bedroom, think I’m being paid back for the mental stress on my parents.

        And about childproofing. How do you keep children from frying themselves on the open fire, killing themselves on the knives etc?

  3. “When do we avocado?” Love it!
    My Brian was like your Nicholas. Now he is a high school teacher and has his Masters and still talks in a language I do not always understand. LOL.
    Have a blessed Christmas!

  4. Dottie

    My “baby” is now 43. I still remember walking around the house pointing out things trying to find out what deekaba was. It was chocolate milk.

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